Half-Dead - latest additions

Half-Dead - latest additions http://seriousbusiness.l2p.net The latest transcribed Half-Dead comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:00:26 -0000 60 Shut Up and Listen http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=033 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=033 Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:41:14 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=033">Shut Up and Listen</a> Mrs. McGillicutty: Okay, so then we use the quadratic formula... John: Uh... excuse me? John: Yeah, uh, I'm having trouble with this. John: What's the practical applicatoin here? Mrs. McGillicutty: This stuff is basically used for calculus. You'll know when you take that course. John: Okay, but I'm confused NOW. How can I think of this? What's the practical aplication that calculus uses this for? [[Mrs. McGillicutty goggles]] Mrs. McGillicutty: I think we've heard quite enough out of you. Shut up and listen to the lesson. Shut Up and Listen

Mrs. McGillicutty: Okay, so then we use the quadratic formula...
John: Uh... excuse me?

John: Yeah, uh, I'm having trouble with this.
John: What's the practical applicatoin here?

Mrs. McGillicutty: This stuff is basically used for calculus. You'll know when you take that course.

John: Okay, but I'm confused NOW. How can I think of this? What's the practical aplication that calculus uses this for?

[[Mrs. McGillicutty goggles]]

Mrs. McGillicutty: I think we've heard quite enough out of you. Shut up and listen to the lesson.]]> The Decision http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=032 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=032 Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:35:35 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=032">The Decision</a> Vince: Holy crap! What'd you do? John: I watched as he headed down the hall. Then I just dumped my coffee into his locker. Vince: HA HA HA HAAA! John: And THEN I went and talked to Lucretia, and get this - SHE'S NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE GUY. Vince: Holy crap, that's awesome. Vince: You realize what this means, right? John: What's that? John: This is our first mark. We have to set this guy up - some kind of prank. [[John considers]] John: All right, but JUST this once, and JUST because he's such a douchebag. The Decision

Vince: Holy crap! What'd you do?
John: I watched as he headed down the hall. Then I just dumped my coffee into his locker.

Vince: HA HA HA HAAA!
John: And THEN I went and talked to Lucretia, and get this - SHE'S NEVER EVEN HEARD OF THE GUY.

Vince: Holy crap, that's awesome.
Vince: You realize what this means, right?
John: What's that?

John: This is our first mark. We have to set this guy up - some kind of prank.

[[John considers]]

John: All right, but JUST this once, and JUST because he's such a douchebag.]]> Commie Bastard http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=031 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=031 Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:35:33 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=031">Commie Bastard</a> Commie Bastard: JOHN!! John: Hey there, uh... WHO are you? John: No, wait, I know you. You're the writing club communist. Hey, have you ever tried this coffee? It's terrible. Commie Bastard: You have bigger problems than coffee, ASSHOLE. [[Commie Bastard slams locker shut]] <<SLAM>> John: Wait, what? Commie Bastard: Been spending a lot of time with Lucretia Patison lately, eh? John: Oh Jesus. Commie Bastard: She's TAKEN. You stay AWAY from her - or ELSE. [[Commie Bastard walks off]] [[John looks at coffee]] [[John pours coffee into Commie Bastard's locker]] <<FLSSH>> Commie Bastard

Commie Bastard: JOHN!!
John: Hey there, uh... WHO are you?

John: No, wait, I know you. You're the writing club communist. Hey, have you ever tried this coffee? It's terrible.
Commie Bastard: You have bigger problems than coffee, ASSHOLE.
[[Commie Bastard slams locker shut]]
<>

John: Wait, what?
Commie Bastard: Been spending a lot of time with Lucretia Patison lately, eh?

John: Oh Jesus.
Commie Bastard: She's TAKEN. You stay AWAY from her - or ELSE.

[[Commie Bastard walks off]]

[[John looks at coffee]]

[[John pours coffee into Commie Bastard's locker]]
<>]]> SERIOUS BUSINESS - Bleeding Heart http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=030 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=030 Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:35:31 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=030">SERIOUS BUSINESS - Bleeding Heart</a> Lucretia: JOHN!! Hey, John, wait! John: Hmm? John: Hey, Luke. What's up? Lucretia: Uh, not much. Listen, I wanted to apologize. John: You what? Lucretia: For yelling at your friend yesterday. That was... rude. John: No, no! John: You were not rude. Vince was a total prick. It's all on him. Hell, I should apologize to YOU, except there's nothin to apologize FOR. Lucretia: I - thanks. Still, I'm sorry. Lucretia: I - wait, is that COFFEE you have? John: From the caf, yeah. It's not very good. You can have it if you want. Lucretia: Ah... that's okay. John: You sure? It would be like we made out. Lucretia: I'm definately good, thanks. SERIOUS BUSINESS - Bleeding Heart

Lucretia: JOHN!! Hey, John, wait!
John: Hmm?

John: Hey, Luke. What's up?
Lucretia: Uh, not much. Listen, I wanted to apologize.
John: You what?

Lucretia: For yelling at your friend yesterday. That was... rude.
John: No, no!

John: You were not rude. Vince was a total prick. It's all on him. Hell, I should apologize to YOU, except there's nothin to apologize FOR.
Lucretia: I - thanks. Still, I'm sorry.

Lucretia: I - wait, is that COFFEE you have?
John: From the caf, yeah. It's not very good. You can have it if you want.
Lucretia: Ah... that's okay.

John: You sure? It would be like we made out.
Lucretia: I'm definately good, thanks.]]> Breakfast http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=029 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=029 Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:35:29 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=029">Breakfast</a> John: Wow. This coffee isn't very good, is it? Vince: Well, it's from the cafeteria. John: Man. It's like living in a gulag. Vince: Well, whatever. Listen, I have a few ideas for pranks you should hear. John: Aw jeez, Vince, no. Just no. Vince: No, hear me out. Small things. Nothing that can get us in much trouble. John: Just no. ANY trouble is too much trouble. Vince: When did you become such a pussy? The potential for punishment never used to stop you. John: That was before they could keep me at a gulag against my will. Vince: It's NICE here. This place doesn't even REMOTELY resemble a gulag. John: Tell that to the cafeteria workers. Breakfast

John: Wow. This coffee isn't very good, is it?
Vince: Well, it's from the cafeteria.
John: Man. It's like living in a gulag.

Vince: Well, whatever. Listen, I have a few ideas for pranks you should hear.
John: Aw jeez, Vince, no. Just no.

Vince: No, hear me out. Small things. Nothing that can get us in much trouble.
John: Just no. ANY trouble is too much trouble.

Vince: When did you become such a pussy? The potential for punishment never used to stop you.
John: That was before they could keep me at a gulag against my will.

Vince: It's NICE here. This place doesn't even REMOTELY resemble a gulag.
John: Tell that to the cafeteria workers.]]> Sunrise http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=027 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=027 Mon, 30 Jan 2006 22:35:26 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?p=show_comic&i=027">Sunrise</a> [[The sun rises over the mountains]] John: Mmmnnff - god how are you already awake? Vince: I'm a morning person. John: Ugh. I hate that. I'm exhausted. Vince: I got you some coffee. John: Oh, wow, thanks! John: This mean we're not fighting anymre? Vince: We're settling this like men. John: We're duking it out? Vince: Nah, we'll just forget it. Leave the grudges to the ladies. Sunrise

[[The sun rises over the mountains]]

John: Mmmnnff - god how are you already awake?
Vince: I'm a morning person.

John: Ugh. I hate that. I'm exhausted.
Vince: I got you some coffee.

John: Oh, wow, thanks!
John: This mean we're not fighting anymre?
Vince: We're settling this like men.

John: We're duking it out?
Vince: Nah, we'll just forget it. Leave the grudges to the ladies.]]> HALF-DEAD - Trailer Trash http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=26 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=26 Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:37:01 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=26">HALF-DEAD - Trailer Trash</a> <<FLUMP>> Vince: So, still single? John: FUCK YOU. Vince: Pussy. John: Well, shit. Excuse me if I judge that right after some prick picks a fight and has her all upset is a bad time for this sort of thing. Vince: Oh, masterful. Vince: Amazing. In-fucking-credible. No matter how many times it happens, I'm always surprised when you find some new disaster that I obviously have nothing to do with to pin on me exclusively. FUCK YOU, John. I'm sick of this bullshit. John: The hell are you talking about? You started that argument!! Vince: SHE did, and for no reason! John: You CALLED her a CUNT!! Vince: I call my mom a cunt all the time, she doesn't start bitching!! HALF-DEAD - Trailer Trash

<>

Vince: So, still single?
John: FUCK YOU.

Vince: Pussy.
John: Well, shit. Excuse me if I judge that right after some prick picks a fight and has her all upset is a bad time for this sort of thing.
Vince: Oh, masterful.

Vince: Amazing. In-fucking-credible. No matter how many times it happens, I'm always surprised when you find some new disaster that I obviously have nothing to do with to pin on me exclusively. FUCK YOU, John. I'm sick of this bullshit.

John: The hell are you talking about? You started that argument!!
Vince: SHE did, and for no reason!

John: You CALLED her a CUNT!!
Vince: I call my mom a cunt all the time, she doesn't start bitching!!]]> HALF-DEAD - Sunrise http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=027 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=027 Mon, 09 Jan 2006 23:36:59 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=027">HALF-DEAD - Sunrise</a> [[The sun rises over the mountains]] John: Mmmnnff - god, how are you already awake? Vince: I'm a morning person. John: Ugh. I hate that. I'm exhausted. Vince: I got you some coffee. John: Oh, wow, thanks! John: This mean we're not fighting anymore? Vince: We're settling this like men. John: We're duking it out? Vince: Nah, we'll just forget it. Leave the grudges to the ladies. HALF-DEAD - Sunrise

[[The sun rises over the mountains]]

John: Mmmnnff - god, how are you already awake?
Vince: I'm a morning person.

John: Ugh. I hate that. I'm exhausted.
Vince: I got you some coffee.

John: Oh, wow, thanks!
John: This mean we're not fighting anymore?
Vince: We're settling this like men.

John: We're duking it out?
Vince: Nah, we'll just forget it. Leave the grudges to the ladies.]]> HALF-DEAD - John Fails http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=025 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=025 Mon, 02 Jan 2006 20:47:08 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=025">HALF-DEAD - John Fails</a> Narration: All right. There she is. Be calm. Let's do this thing. John: Lucretia! Wait up! John: Luke,wait up a minute. Lucretia: Hm? Was... did you want something? Naration: Yeah. I want YOU. Narration: I know we haven't known each other all that long, but... Narration: Any plans for later? Narration: You know, I was thinking, you're really pretty, and... Narration: I'm just gonna blurt it out. You wanna go out with me? Narration: This might seem out of the blue, but I really... John: No, nothing in particular. Narration: Fuck. Lucretia: You sure? Narration: No! No! John: Yes. Narration: FUCK!! HALF-DEAD - John Fails

Narration: All right. There she is. Be calm. Let's do this thing.
John: Lucretia! Wait up!

John: Luke,wait up a minute.
Lucretia: Hm? Was... did you want something?

Naration: Yeah. I want YOU.
Narration: I know we haven't known each other all that long, but...
Narration: Any plans for later?
Narration: You know, I was thinking, you're really pretty, and...
Narration: I'm just gonna blurt it out. You wanna go out with me?
Narration: This might seem out of the blue, but I really...

John: No, nothing in particular.
Narration: Fuck.
Lucretia: You sure?

Narration: No! No!
John: Yes.
Narration: FUCK!!]]> HALF-DEAD - The Thinking Man http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=024 http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=024 Mon, 02 Jan 2006 20:47:06 -0000 <a href="http://half-dead.l2p.net/index.php?d=comic&p=show_comic&i=024">HALF-DEAD - The Thinking Man</a> Vince: What the FUCK, man?!? Do you find people yelling at me sexy? John: Well, I never would have expected that. Vince: So it's PSYCHOS you're after?!? John: Well, I thought I had her figured out, but then she goes and does something like that. I guess, if there's a surprise like that, what else is hidden away? John: I mean, she's pretty, she's intelligent... John: And now she's a genuinely interesting person. John: What's not to like? Vince: It'll never work out. Remember that Sharon girl? John: Jesus, man. I thought we were never going to talk about that ever again. Vince: It applies. You'll do nothing, she'll have no clue, and the same thing will happen. John: You're right. Vince: YES. John: I'm going for it right now. Vince: NO! GodDAMN it! HALF-DEAD - The Thinking Man

Vince: What the FUCK, man?!? Do you find people yelling at me sexy?
John: Well, I never would have expected that.

Vince: So it's PSYCHOS you're after?!?
John: Well, I thought I had her figured out, but then she goes and does something like that.
I guess, if there's a surprise like that, what else is hidden away?

John: I mean, she's pretty, she's intelligent...
John: And now she's a genuinely interesting person.
John: What's not to like?

Vince: It'll never work out. Remember that Sharon girl?
John: Jesus, man. I thought we were never going to talk about that ever again.
Vince: It applies. You'll do nothing, she'll have no clue, and the same thing will happen.

John: You're right.
Vince: YES.
John: I'm going for it right now.
Vince: NO! GodDAMN it!]]>