Sexy Losers - latest additions

Sexy Losers - latest additions http://sexylosers.com The latest transcribed Sexy Losers comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:11:13 -0000 60 #242 - Gender Incrimination II http://sexylosers.com/242.html http://sexylosers.com/242.html Wed, 11 Jan 2006 03:32:47 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/242.html">#242 - Gender Incrimination II</a> SUBTITLE: Just to show how sick some of you are, I actually got requests to give this family their own thread. Leo Corben: Against my better judgement, here's Touro again on "It's the arts" to explain-- Touro Maebashi: What's wrong with you people? It's the exact same joke. You guys laughed when it was a mom and her son. You just need to see more. Here's some more panels, take a look, you'll see. [[A selection of three panels showing scenes from the Kenta's Horny Mom thread, with a gender reversal, showing a very wrong father-daughter relationship]] [[Touro is leaning against a pole in the spirit of the Madame X strips, nursing his wounds. Reg is laying beat-up in a pile of garbage]] Touro: ... Reg! What are you doing laying in the trash? I was the one who drew the comic! Reg: The studio audience... they turned on me. Reg's Penis: All I said was, if I had a daughter with cute fuckudders like those, I'd wanna plug her too. #242 - Gender Incrimination II

SUBTITLE: Just to show how sick some of you are, I actually got requests to give this family their own thread.

Leo Corben: Against my better judgement, here's Touro again on "It's the arts" to explain--
Touro Maebashi: What's wrong with you people? It's the exact same joke. You guys laughed when it was a mom and her son. You just need to see more. Here's some more panels, take a look, you'll see.

[[A selection of three panels showing scenes from the Kenta's Horny Mom thread, with a gender reversal, showing a very wrong father-daughter relationship]]

[[Touro is leaning against a pole in the spirit of the Madame X strips, nursing his wounds. Reg is laying beat-up in a pile of garbage]]
Touro: ... Reg! What are you doing laying in the trash? I was the one who drew the comic!
Reg: The studio audience... they turned on me.
Reg's Penis: All I said was, if I had a daughter with cute fuckudders like those, I'd wanna plug her too.]]> #118 - Funeral Home Blues http://sexylosers.com/118.html http://sexylosers.com/118.html Tue, 10 Jan 2006 09:08:30 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/118.html">#118 - Funeral Home Blues</a> SUBTITLE: Warning: penis ahead. [Tomoe Toyosaka is working with a dead body in the mortuary]] Tomoe: Damn that Shiunji. I thought he liked me but it was only because he thought I was dead. Why would anyone prefer a cold dead person over a nice warm one? Doesn't he want the love and attention only a living person can give? Tomoe: Hmm. Maybe to understand him better, I should try to see what he sees in dead people. I guess there is only one way to find out what he sees, isn't there? Thankfully, this guy still has his boner intact. [[Tomoe starts giving the corpse a blow job]] <<mmm>> [[Tomoe is in the washroom, spitting in the sink.]] <<PTOOIE>> Tomoe: Gross. I didn't think a dead man could do that. <<PTOOIE PTOOIE>> #118 - Funeral Home Blues

SUBTITLE: Warning: penis ahead.

[Tomoe Toyosaka is working with a dead body in the mortuary]]
Tomoe: Damn that Shiunji. I thought he liked me but it was only because he thought I was dead. Why would anyone prefer a cold dead person over a nice warm one? Doesn't he want the love and attention only a living person can give?

Tomoe: Hmm. Maybe to understand him better, I should try to see what he sees in dead people. I guess there is only one way to find out what he sees, isn't there? Thankfully, this guy still has his boner intact.

[[Tomoe starts giving the corpse a blow job]]
<>

[[Tomoe is in the washroom, spitting in the sink.]]
<>
Tomoe: Gross. I didn't think a dead man could do that.
<>]]> #120 - Gun Safety Tip http://sexylosers.com/120.html http://sexylosers.com/120.html Tue, 10 Jan 2006 09:05:18 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/120.html">#120 - Gun Safety Tip</a> SUBTITLE: Warning: Deja vu ahead. [[Yuuko Ishida is looking down the barrel of a handgun that she is cleaning.]] Yuuko Ishida: Fucking Shiunji. I can't wait to blow his head off. I have to do this right, make sure all my guns are clean and in working-- <<BANG>> [[Yuuko Ishida has a blank look on her face as gunsmoke rises from the barrel of her gun and the empty socket of her left eye.]] Yuuko Ishida: If Shiunji were here, that bastard would probably want to fuck this hole too. #120 - Gun Safety Tip

SUBTITLE: Warning: Deja vu ahead.

[[Yuuko Ishida is looking down the barrel of a handgun that she is cleaning.]]
Yuuko Ishida: Fucking Shiunji.
I can't wait to blow his head off.
I have to do this right, make sure all my guns are clean and in working--

<>

[[Yuuko Ishida has a blank look on her face as gunsmoke rises from the barrel of her gun and the empty socket of her left eye.]]

Yuuko Ishida: If Shiunji were here, that bastard would probably want to fuck this hole too.]]> #183 - The Seduction of Madame X Part XI http://sexylosers.com/183.html http://sexylosers.com/183.html Tue, 10 Jan 2006 09:04:24 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/183.html">#183 - The Seduction of Madame X Part XI</a> SUBTITLE: For those of you who like to watch someone ELSE not get laid for a change. [[ Touro leans against a tree while his two friends look on ]] Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): Why bother asking us here. we know what the outcome is going to be already. Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): Yeah, your fuck is obvious, cuntphobic asswrecker. Touro Maebashi: Ha Ha... You guys and your friendly jabs... Touro Maebashi: She told me that her hormones are raging, that she needs to get laid so bad she's like a beast ready to fuck anybody. Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): Dude, Your not just anybody, and today you're going to prove it. Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): You're dicking your fist for shit, fuck hydrant. [[Touro is at the front door to Madame X's House holding roses in his hand. A woman with a beastly face has answered the door. ]] Touro Maebashi: GYAHH! Woman: Hello! [[Inside the house, the woman has removed the beastly mask to reveal herself as Chie Sakamachi and is talking to Madame X. In the background we can see Touro running off into the distance ]] Madame X: Chie, you don't have to wear that mask to answer the door. No one's going to come on your face there. Chie Sakamachi: That's what you said about the T.V. Repair guy too. Touro: YAAAA! #183 - The Seduction of Madame X Part XI

SUBTITLE: For those of you who like to watch someone ELSE not get laid for a change.

[[ Touro leans against a tree while his two friends look on ]]
Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): Why bother asking us here. we know what the outcome is going to be already.
Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): Yeah, your fuck is obvious, cuntphobic asswrecker.
Touro Maebashi: Ha Ha... You guys and your friendly jabs...

Touro Maebashi: She told me that her hormones are raging, that she needs to get laid so bad she's like a beast ready to fuck anybody.
Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): Dude, Your not just anybody, and today you're going to prove it.
Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): You're dicking your fist for shit, fuck hydrant.

[[Touro is at the front door to Madame X's House holding roses in his hand. A woman with a beastly face has answered the door. ]]
Touro Maebashi: GYAHH!
Woman: Hello!

[[Inside the house, the woman has removed the beastly mask to reveal herself as Chie Sakamachi and is talking to Madame X. In the background we can see Touro running off into the distance ]]
Madame X: Chie, you don't have to wear that mask to answer the door. No one's going to come on your face there.
Chie Sakamachi: That's what you said about the T.V. Repair guy too.
Touro: YAAAA!]]> #034 - Hard Sell http://sexylosers.com/034.html http://sexylosers.com/034.html Tue, 10 Jan 2006 09:01:35 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/034.html">#034 - Hard Sell</a> SUBTITLE: Corey, I finally got to use your line. [[Touro Maebashi, Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic) and Touro's Friend #2 (swearing) meet as always.]] Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): So, here we are again. What else can I say? Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): Yeah, spooge mouth. You fuck cows in retrospect. Touro: Hey wait a sec. Let's be fair! [[Closeup on Touro.]] Touro: She wants me to pose for a massive hard-on she has to draw, and get this: the footnote of the email said "I know how to get a man hard." Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): I bet twenty he has another gay experience. Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): You dumb cocklick, twenty says he gets his fucking nads chopped off. [[Touro holds a bouquet of flowers. Madame X presses herself against him and reaches into his pants.]] Madame X: Okay, you big stud, it's time for me to get you rock hard! Touro: *JOY* [[Madame X bends down and screams at Touro's crotch.]] Madame X: Okay you! Get hard! Right now! What are you, some kind of pansy-ass queer boy? Get it up, NOW!! Touro's Pants: Actually, you don't know anything about getting a man hard. {{Story layout, CG: Hard. Pencils, inks: Reirei.}} #034 - Hard Sell

SUBTITLE: Corey, I finally got to use your line.

[[Touro Maebashi, Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic) and Touro's Friend #2 (swearing) meet as always.]]
Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): So, here we are again. What else can I say?
Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): Yeah, spooge mouth. You fuck cows in retrospect.
Touro: Hey wait a sec. Let's be fair!

[[Closeup on Touro.]]
Touro: She wants me to pose for a massive hard-on she has to draw, and get this: the footnote of the email said "I know how to get a man hard."
Touro's Friend #1 (sarcastic): I bet twenty he has another gay experience.
Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): You dumb cocklick, twenty says he gets his fucking nads chopped off.

[[Touro holds a bouquet of flowers. Madame X presses herself against him and reaches into his pants.]]
Madame X: Okay, you big stud, it's time for me to get you rock hard!
Touro: *JOY*

[[Madame X bends down and screams at Touro's crotch.]]
Madame X: Okay you! Get hard! Right now! What are you, some kind of pansy-ass queer boy? Get it up, NOW!!
Touro's Pants: Actually, you don't know anything about getting a man hard.

{{Story layout, CG: Hard. Pencils, inks: Reirei.}}]]> #102 - Pride of Indiana II http://sexylosers.com/102.html http://sexylosers.com/102.html Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:53:22 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/102.html">#102 - Pride of Indiana II</a> SUBTITLE: In the ancient jungles of Brazil, our hero is about to claim the lost Golden Penis Candle of the Chichimichians... [[Three panels of the same image. Inidiana Jones with his hands hesitatingly about to grab a phalic golden object with white wax spilling out of the top. Touro's Friend #2 (swearing) looks on. ]] Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): Just fucking yank it off, cumchugger. Indiana Jones: Even with gloves on, I still can't bring myself to touch it. #102 - Pride of Indiana II

SUBTITLE: In the ancient jungles of Brazil, our hero is about to claim the lost Golden Penis Candle of the Chichimichians...

[[Three panels of the same image. Inidiana Jones with his hands hesitatingly about to grab a phalic golden object with white wax spilling out of the top. Touro's Friend #2 (swearing) looks on. ]]

Touro's Friend #2 (swearing): Just fucking yank it off, cumchugger.
Indiana Jones: Even with gloves on, I still can't bring myself to touch it.]]> #066 - The Bad Side of Getting What You Want http://sexylosers.com/066.html http://sexylosers.com/066.html Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:50:44 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/066.html">#066 - The Bad Side of Getting What You Want</a> SUBTITLE: I apologice in advance for the mental images. [[Shiunji Watanabe and Mr. Toyosaka are standing over a body laid out and covered with a sheet. Shiunji is wearing gloves and holding a sponge. He looks grim.]] Mr. Toyosaka: Okay. Our first customer is 83-year old Ishii Nanako. Female, 238 pounds, and died last week of syphilis. Mr. Toyosaka: Before we can begin the embalmbing, we need to scrub her down thorougly. Every crack and crevice and orifice too. "We" means "you" by the way. Shiunji: (thinking) I should have guessed that not everyone who dies is going to be a sexy 18 year old girl. But cleaning a fat woman's orifices is definitely not sexy. [[Shiunji is enjoying a cigarette in a sweaty t-shirt. The body behind him looks used.]] Shiunji: Okay... That was a sexy orifice, but the rest weren't. #066 - The Bad Side of Getting What You Want

SUBTITLE: I apologice in advance for the mental images.

[[Shiunji Watanabe and Mr. Toyosaka are standing over a body laid out and covered with a sheet. Shiunji is wearing gloves and holding a sponge. He looks grim.]]
Mr. Toyosaka: Okay. Our first customer is 83-year old Ishii Nanako. Female, 238 pounds, and died last week of syphilis.

Mr. Toyosaka: Before we can begin the embalmbing, we need to scrub her down thorougly. Every crack and crevice and orifice too. "We" means "you" by the way.

Shiunji: (thinking) I should have guessed that not everyone who dies is going to be a sexy 18 year old girl. But cleaning a fat woman's orifices is definitely not sexy.

[[Shiunji is enjoying a cigarette in a sweaty t-shirt. The body behind him looks used.]]
Shiunji: Okay... That was a sexy orifice, but the rest weren't.]]> #050 - Suicide Prevention Week II http://sexylosers.com/050.html http://sexylosers.com/050.html Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:49:03 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/050.html">#050 - Suicide Prevention Week II</a> SUBTITLE: This and Mother's Day are the only special days this comic celebrates. [[A girl with tear tracks down her face is sitting in the corner of a dingy room. She is on the phone.]] Miko: Hi. Is this the Suicide Prevention Agency? I'm Miko, and I'm at the end of my line... Phone: Are you cute? Miko: Er... Well, I don't think so, but I don't see that... Phone: Ah. Sounds like you have a self-esteem problem. You don't sound like you weigh 200 pounds, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If you're going to use pain killers, I recommend 20 tablets of codeine. You should drink milk with it so it doesn't upset your stomach as much. Miko: But, but... I mean... This is the Suicide Prevention Agency, isn't it? Phone: Well, I'm preventing you from damaging your body by committing suicide. No bigger turnoff than fucking a body with its head blown off. Pills are better. By the way, where do you live again? [[The girl is covered in gasoline and is flicking on a lighter.]] Girl: (thinking) Fucker. <<flick>> #050 - Suicide Prevention Week II

SUBTITLE: This and Mother's Day are the only special days this comic celebrates.

[[A girl with tear tracks down her face is sitting in the corner of a dingy room. She is on the phone.]]
Miko: Hi. Is this the Suicide Prevention Agency? I'm Miko, and I'm at the end of my line...
Phone: Are you cute?

Miko: Er... Well, I don't think so, but I don't see that...
Phone: Ah. Sounds like you have a self-esteem problem. You don't sound like you weigh 200 pounds, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If you're going to use pain killers, I recommend 20 tablets of codeine. You should drink milk with it so it doesn't upset your stomach as much.

Miko: But, but... I mean... This is the Suicide Prevention Agency, isn't it?
Phone: Well, I'm preventing you from damaging your body by committing suicide. No bigger turnoff than fucking a body with its head blown off. Pills are better. By the way, where do you live again?

[[The girl is covered in gasoline and is flicking on a lighter.]]
Girl: (thinking) Fucker.
<>]]> #148 - Home Security http://sexylosers.com/148.html http://sexylosers.com/148.html Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:47:12 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/148.html">#148 - Home Security</a> SUBTITLE: Haven't we seen this guy before...? [[Mr. Shibata stands at the counter of an electronics store talking to a young male clerk.]] Clerk: Can I help you? Mr. Shibata: Yes. I'm looking to buy a home security system for my bedroom involving at least three cameras. My wife is having an affair, you see... Clerk: Geez, that's gotta be rough. Who is it, your best friend, mailman, ex-boyfriend from college... Mr. Shibata: Eighteen year old high school girl. [[They stare at each other in silence.]] Clerk: In that case, I should tell you about our special on bulk quantities of high grade video cassette. Mr. Shibata: I love a store that understands its customers. #148 - Home Security

SUBTITLE: Haven't we seen this guy before...?

[[Mr. Shibata stands at the counter of an electronics store talking to a young male clerk.]]
Clerk: Can I help you?
Mr. Shibata: Yes. I'm looking to buy a home security system for my bedroom involving at least three cameras. My wife is having an affair, you see...

Clerk: Geez, that's gotta be rough. Who is it, your best friend, mailman, ex-boyfriend from college...
Mr. Shibata: Eighteen year old high school girl.

[[They stare at each other in silence.]]

Clerk: In that case, I should tell you about our special on bulk quantities of high grade video cassette.
Mr. Shibata: I love a store that understands its customers.]]> #103 - Cannibal Lecture http://sexylosers.com/103.html http://sexylosers.com/103.html Sun, 08 Jan 2006 12:44:39 -0000 <a href="http://sexylosers.com/103.html">#103 - Cannibal Lecture</a> SUBTITLE: With the right writers, "Silence of the Lambs" would make a greate sit-com. [[Hannibal Lecter is standing above a dead woman on a table. He has a knife in his hand.]] Hannibal Lecter: Ahhh, she's a tasty-looking one. Now, the problem is to decide how to tastefully serve her. One this beautiful demands to be made a meal of in no less an exquisite fashion. Hannibal Lecter: It's been a while since I've eaten french, so first I should decide on a sauce. Forestiere? Remouade? Bearnaise? Perhaps something as provencale as a creamy bouillabaisse? My mouth is watering with these prospects, I should decide quickly. Hannibal Lecter: Perhaps I'll server her kidneys in an emince with some mustard, and a thigh roasted with some tarragon gravy. Hmmm... and a bottle of Mission Haut Brion Bordeax 1992. Yummy, yummy. [[Shiunji Watanabe appears and unbluckes his pants.]] Shiunji Watanabe: Before you do that, I'm gonna use her. You always cut off the good parts before I get to do anything. Hannibal Lecter: Forget that! I'm not going to eat anything you've just been in, that's disgusting. #103 - Cannibal Lecture

SUBTITLE: With the right writers, "Silence of the Lambs" would make a greate sit-com.

[[Hannibal Lecter is standing above a dead woman on a table. He has a knife in his hand.]]
Hannibal Lecter: Ahhh, she's a tasty-looking one. Now, the problem is to decide how to tastefully serve her. One this beautiful demands to be made a meal of in no less an exquisite fashion.

Hannibal Lecter: It's been a while since I've eaten french, so first I should decide on a sauce. Forestiere? Remouade? Bearnaise? Perhaps something as provencale as a creamy bouillabaisse? My mouth is watering with these prospects, I should decide quickly.

Hannibal Lecter: Perhaps I'll server her kidneys in an emince with some mustard, and a thigh roasted with some tarragon gravy. Hmmm... and a bottle of Mission Haut Brion Bordeax 1992. Yummy, yummy.

[[Shiunji Watanabe appears and unbluckes his pants.]]
Shiunji Watanabe: Before you do that, I'm gonna use her. You always cut off the good parts before I get to do anything.
Hannibal Lecter: Forget that! I'm not going to eat anything you've just been in, that's disgusting.]]>