Jack of All Blades - latest additions

Jack of All Blades - latest additions http://jackofallblades.com The latest transcribed Jack of All Blades comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:00:32 -0000 60 To The Tundra! http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=40 http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=40 Sat, 06 May 2006 22:29:20 -0000 <a href="http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=40">To The Tundra!</a> Jack: Now that we all know each other, are we ready to head to the tundra? Tsai: Well, we seem to be missing that marbley gentleman we picked up in Birmingham. Jack: I'm sure he will catch up. Meanwhile... Judge: Do you, guard captain, take Marbles to be your lawfully wedded husband? Guard Captain: NO! NO! NO! I've been yelling "NO!" for the last hour! I'm NOT going to marry him! Now get a cleric to turn me back into a person! Judge: Sorry kid, but I can't marry you if she says "no." Judge: ... I now pronounce you man and apple. Marbles: YAY! Judge: You may kiss the bride. Guard Captain: Oh sweet Lord God Almighty! NO! Marbles: MARBLESGEHGHEGEGGES... To The Tundra!

Jack: Now that we all know each other, are we ready to head to the tundra?
Tsai: Well, we seem to be missing that marbley gentleman we picked up in Birmingham.
Jack: I'm sure he will catch up.

Meanwhile...
Judge: Do you, guard captain, take Marbles to be your lawfully wedded husband?
Guard Captain: NO! NO! NO! I've been yelling "NO!" for the last hour! I'm NOT going to marry him! Now get a cleric to turn me back into a person!

Judge: Sorry kid, but I can't marry you if she says "no."

Judge: ... I now pronounce you man and apple.
Marbles: YAY!
Judge: You may kiss the bride.

Guard Captain: Oh sweet Lord God Almighty! NO!
Marbles: MARBLESGEHGHEGEGGES...]]> Jack & Jill http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=38 http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=38 Sat, 06 May 2006 22:29:10 -0000 <a href="http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=38">Jack & Jill</a> Jill: I'll tell you what: I'll go pick up some stuff from my place and I'll tag along for a ways. Jack: Awesome! Waf: What on earth do you think you're doing? Jack: What? When you guys ruined my job you hired me. I'm just doing the same thing for Jill. Waf: SHE NEARLY BROKE MY RIBS! Jack: But she is totally hot, and she is dorky enough to curve her sexi-a-tude down to where she might actually be in my league. Waf: Funny, Tsai said the same thing about you when you joined us. Waf: Not talking much now, are you funny boy? Waf: I was only kidding: Tsai thinks you are a yutz. Jack: I've got vomit in my nasal passages. Jack & Jill

Jill: I'll tell you what: I'll go pick up some stuff from my place and I'll tag along for a ways.
Jack: Awesome!

Waf: What on earth do you think you're doing?
Jack: What? When you guys ruined my job you hired me. I'm just doing the same thing for Jill.
Waf: SHE NEARLY BROKE MY RIBS!
Jack: But she is totally hot, and she is dorky enough to curve her sexi-a-tude down to where she might actually be in my league.
Waf: Funny, Tsai said the same thing about you when you joined us.

Waf: Not talking much now, are you funny boy?

Waf: I was only kidding: Tsai thinks you are a yutz.
Jack: I've got vomit in my nasal passages.]]> This Comic is Not Set in a Specific Time Period http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=41 http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=41 Wed, 03 May 2006 20:43:06 -0000 <a href="http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=41">This Comic is Not Set in a Specific Time Period</a> Chapter 4: This Comic is Not Set in a Specific Time Period Tsai: I'm predicting a big blizzard, so we should hurry to the penguin village. Jill: A blizzard?! Maybe this is foreshadowing a big fight and we'll get attacked by ninjas and our penguin will save us! Waf: Thanks, but I'm really a noncombatant. Jill: Do penguins have paper in the tundra? I want to start a PNP campaign when we get there. Jack: I thought you said you were an environmentalist. Jill: I am. Jack: So shouldn't you be running a PAPERLESS CAMPAIGN? Jack: AHAHAHA! Jack: ...Not even a pity laugh, huh? Waf: Hey Jill, they should make a game about people cutting down trees and call it WOODCRAFT: OAKS & HUMANS. Jill: TEEHEEHEE! Waf: ROTFLMAOLOLLERSK8S Tsai: AHAHAHA! This Comic is Not Set in a Specific Time Period

Chapter 4: This Comic is Not Set in a Specific Time Period

Tsai: I'm predicting a big blizzard, so we should hurry to the penguin village.
Jill: A blizzard?! Maybe this is foreshadowing a big fight and we'll get attacked by ninjas and our penguin will save us!
Waf: Thanks, but I'm really a noncombatant.

Jill: Do penguins have paper in the tundra? I want to start a PNP campaign when we get there.
Jack: I thought you said you were an environmentalist.
Jill: I am.
Jack: So shouldn't you be running a PAPERLESS CAMPAIGN?

Jack: AHAHAHA!

Jack: ...Not even a pity laugh, huh?
Waf: Hey Jill, they should make a game about people cutting down trees and call it WOODCRAFT: OAKS & HUMANS.

Jill: TEEHEEHEE!
Waf: ROTFLMAOLOLLERSK8S
Tsai: AHAHAHA!]]> Jack of All Blades http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=42 http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=42 Fri, 28 Apr 2006 04:45:07 -0000 <a href="http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=42">Jack of All Blades</a> {{Title: Yay! Penguins!}} {{Number: 042}} [[A rainbow of penguins stands out in the Tundra.]] Jack: This is the gayest thing I have ever seen. Jill: This is the cutest thing I have ever seen! [[Jill chases Palmer, a brown penguin with a headband.]] Jill: This one has a headband! It's the Tsai penguin! [[Jill chases Checkers, a red penguin with spikey green hair.]] Jill: This one has goofy hair! It's the Jack penguin! [[Jill chases Gizmo, a blue penguin with a red bow-tie.]] Jill: Look at his little bow tie on his blue tuxedo-like body! He's the Marbles penguin! [[Jill chases Rose, a pink penguin with glasses.]] Jill: Oohhh! The pink one has glasses! It's the Jill penguin! This is the best penguin evar! [[Waf and Patches, a large, orange penguin wearing a tobogan, talk while Jill chases penguins in the background. They have their backs to the reader.]] Checkers: What horror have you brought upon us, Waf? Waf: She's not that bad. You just have to get used to being carried all the time. [[Patches and Waf face the reader. Patches is covered with a white powder]] Patches: No, I mean this white powder you threw on me when you got here. Waf: Oh, that's anthrax. I guess that was pretty lousy of me. Jack of All Blades

{{Title: Yay! Penguins!}}
{{Number: 042}}
[[A rainbow of penguins stands out in the Tundra.]]

Jack: This is the gayest thing I have ever seen.
Jill: This is the cutest thing I have ever seen!

[[Jill chases Palmer, a brown penguin with a headband.]]
Jill: This one has a headband! It's the Tsai penguin!

[[Jill chases Checkers, a red penguin with spikey green hair.]]
Jill: This one has goofy hair! It's the Jack penguin!

[[Jill chases Gizmo, a blue penguin with a red bow-tie.]]
Jill: Look at his little bow tie on his blue tuxedo-like body! He's the Marbles penguin!

[[Jill chases Rose, a pink penguin with glasses.]]
Jill: Oohhh! The pink one has glasses! It's the Jill penguin! This is the best penguin evar!

[[Waf and Patches, a large, orange penguin wearing a tobogan, talk while Jill chases penguins in the background. They have their backs to the reader.]]
Checkers: What horror have you brought upon us, Waf?
Waf: She's not that bad. You just have to get used to being carried all the time.

[[Patches and Waf face the reader. Patches is covered with a white powder]]
Patches: No, I mean this white powder you threw on me when you got here.
Waf: Oh, that's anthrax. I guess that was pretty lousy of me.]]> Jack of All Blades http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=2 http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=2 Sat, 14 Jan 2006 07:03:28 -0000 <a href="http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=2">Jack of All Blades</a> {{Comic Title: The Plot Thickens}} {{Comic Number: 002}} [[Jack and Detroit City Guard Captain talk in the Detroit City Guardhouse.]] Detroit City Guard Captain: ...but what if you run into someone who actually is an expert fighter? Jack: I'm dead either way, so it doesn't really matter. Detroit City Guard Captain: Well, I suppose I should give you some advice before I let you go with a sword that you're unqualified to use. Jack: Alrighty. [[Jack holds his sword like a penis.]] Detroit City Guard Captain: The main misconception fighters have with swords is that they are tools. In actuality, they should wield them as if they were an extenstion of their body. Jack: Hmm... alright. Detroit City Guard Captain: ...please, never hold your sword like that. [[Jack looks down, getting it.]] Jack: ...oooohh. Jack of All Blades

{{Comic Title: The Plot Thickens}}
{{Comic Number: 002}}
[[Jack and Detroit City Guard Captain talk in the Detroit City Guardhouse.]]
Detroit City Guard Captain: ...but what if you run into someone who actually is an expert fighter?
Jack: I'm dead either way, so it doesn't really matter.

Detroit City Guard Captain: Well, I suppose I should give you some advice before I let you go with a sword that you're unqualified to use.
Jack: Alrighty.

[[Jack holds his sword like a penis.]]
Detroit City Guard Captain: The main misconception fighters have with swords is that they are tools. In actuality, they should wield them as if they were an extenstion of their body.
Jack: Hmm... alright.
Detroit City Guard Captain: ...please, never hold your sword like that.

[[Jack looks down, getting it.]]
Jack: ...oooohh.]]> Jack of All Blades http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=1 http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=1 Sat, 14 Jan 2006 00:27:02 -0000 <a href="http://jackofallblades.com/index.php?p=1">Jack of All Blades</a> {{Comic Title: Introduction}} {{Comic Number: 001}} [[Detroit City Guard Captian and Jack shake hands.]] Detroit City Guard Captian: Welcome aboard the city guard forces, Jack. All that's left is equipping you with some armor and a weapon and explaining your duties. Then you'll be good to go. Jack: Thanks sir! Being a member of the Detroit City guard has always been a dream of mine! [[Detroit City Guard Captian hands Jack some blue armor.]] Detroit City Guard Captian: Here, try this armor on for size. [[Jack looks upset.]] Jack: This is *way* too small! Heck, it isn't covering my gut! Detroit City Guard Captian: No, it is suppose to do that 'cause it's... uhhhhh... ab-amantite! Jack: ...you're kidding me. [[Detroit City Guard Captian talks from closet.]] Detroit City Guard Captian: It's tough, so you're tough. Jack: Hell yeah! Now how 'bout a sword? [[Still from closet.]] Detroit City Guard Captian: Alright, our standard beginner weapon is a short sword. Jack: I'll take the biggest, meanest broadsword you have! [[Detroit City Guard Captian comes out.]] Detroit City Guard Captian: Now Jac, everyone knows that the broadsword is a very advanced weapon. It is used by expert fighters only. Jack: True. You know that, I know that, and every other fighter on this planet knows that. So, if I have a weapon that only an expert should have, no one will screw with me. Jack of All Blades

{{Comic Title: Introduction}}
{{Comic Number: 001}}
[[Detroit City Guard Captian and Jack shake hands.]]
Detroit City Guard Captian: Welcome aboard the city guard forces, Jack. All that's left is equipping you with some armor and a weapon and explaining your duties. Then you'll be good to go.
Jack: Thanks sir! Being a member of the Detroit City guard has always been a dream of mine!

[[Detroit City Guard Captian hands Jack some blue armor.]]
Detroit City Guard Captian: Here, try this armor on for size.

[[Jack looks upset.]]
Jack: This is *way* too small! Heck, it isn't covering my gut!
Detroit City Guard Captian: No, it is suppose to do that 'cause it's... uhhhhh... ab-amantite!
Jack: ...you're kidding me.

[[Detroit City Guard Captian talks from closet.]]
Detroit City Guard Captian: It's tough, so you're tough.
Jack: Hell yeah! Now how 'bout a sword?

[[Still from closet.]]
Detroit City Guard Captian: Alright, our standard beginner weapon is a short sword.
Jack: I'll take the biggest, meanest broadsword you have!

[[Detroit City Guard Captian comes out.]]
Detroit City Guard Captian: Now Jac, everyone knows that the broadsword is a very advanced weapon. It is used by expert fighters only.
Jack: True. You know that, I know that, and every other fighter on this planet knows that. So, if I have a weapon that only an expert should have, no one will screw with me.]]>