http://crfh.net/ The latest transcribed College Roomies From Hell comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us http://www.crfh.net/images/logo.jpg http://crfh.net/ Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:44:45 -0000 http://crfh.net/d/20080221.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20080221.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, February 21, 2008</a><br />"; <br /> [[Dave's dorm, Roger is walking through the door.]] <br/> <br/> Roger: Hey dork, why do you leave the door wide open? I know you don't have anything to steal, but still! <br/> <br/> Nameless voice: Too many... stills... ugh... <br/> <br/> Roger: What? Are you sounding sexy now? Just as I move out??? <br/> <br/> Nameless voice: For the love of God... shut up. <br/> <br/> [[It is revealed that Blue is lying on the couch]] <br/> <br/> Roger: Aaaand case in point. Sheesh, Dave's making you sleep on the couch now? or are you one of those feminist chicks that completely confuse males by getting offended when someone lets them have the good stuff? <br/> <br/> Blue: Roger. Come closer to my fist so I can let you have the good stuff. <br/> <br/> Roger: Wow, it's like Mike never left. <br/> <br/> Blue: I don't think Mike was shagging Dave, tho. <br/> <br/> Roger: One of those feminist, really naive chicks. http://crfh.net/d/20070919.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20070919.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, September 19, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> So, did you get rid of it, or what? <br/> Not really. I have to think of a good place to hide it. In the mean time, I put it in the kitchen cupboards. <br/> I'll keep it in mind next time I want to make some bouillabase. <br/> Uh. HUH. Well, since you're here with your stink beasts, I suppose you finished cleaning? <br/> Roger, it's midnight and I'm exhausted. I'll finish it tomorrow. <br/> You'll never finish cleaning because those cats never stop pooping. <br/> Don't listen to him, Britanny. Ladies don't poop. <br/> <br/> Ladies do SO poop... wait a minute, BRITANNY? <br/> Not the pop-tart... it's a comic character! <br/> I mean... you NAMED the kittens??? <br/> Sure I did! Britanny, Spooky, and Tybalt, And this lil' fellow munching on my hair is... <br/> Oh GREAT, now you're NEVER gonna get rid of them! http://crfh.net/d/20071105.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20071105.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, November 5, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> Dave: JESUS GMMMPH! <br/> [[Margaret covers Dave's mouth.]] <<Margaret whispers>> <br/> Margaret: Shh! Don't startle her. Dave, we can't do this! We can't talk her down! We're abysmally bad at this! And she's gonna do it, she's done it before! our only chance is to distract her so I can pull her off the ledge! Stay here and TALK to her!! <br/> [[Margaret moves towards Marsha]] <br/> Dave: Uuuh ... Marsha? Listen ... I know that you .... that you, uh, we are sad, and that we miss Mike and stuff ... but ... (OhGodISuck) You don't want to do this ... it's a really bad idea! <br/> [[Marsha stands on the ledge, surrounded by bats]] <br/> Dave: All .... all Mike ever wanted was to make you happy ... and ... uh, wherever he is, I'm sure he wants you to just, just get off the ledge and ... Think things over? For him? http://crfh.net/d/20071019.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20071019.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, October 19, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> [[Blue is kissing Jay on the lips. Jay is starting to blush.]] <br/> <br/> Blue: Well? Is it gonna be worth it? <br/> Jay: [[slightly brainwarped]] Uh, yeah. Definitely. A bit on the short side, tho... <br/> Blue: Uh-HUH. The goddamn password, Jay. GIMME. <br/> Jay: "Blitzkrieg". <br/> Blue: Blitzkrieg? OH. Right, so, she's gonna do it tomorrow, you said? <br/> Jay: Yes. They're not taking me, of course. If they was, you'd only have to say the word, and I... <br/> <br/> Dave: [[off-panel, shouting from a distance]] BLUE!!! <br/> Blue: [[thinking]] Dave??? <br/> <<shove!>> <br/> [[Blue, surprised to hear Dave's voice, pushes Jay away from herself.]] http://crfh.net/d/20071018.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20071018.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Thursday, October 18, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> [[Blue, next to Tuft the dracopuppy, eyes Jay carefully.]] <br/> Blue: What will I give you? Pssch. Figures. <br/> Jay: Well, Blue. You know I love you. But you won't talk to me, and I can't see you. A guy has to have something to hold on to. <br/> Blue: So, extortion is the new romance. Color me blown away. <br/> Jay: Actually, it's not extortion. I'm not asking for anything. <br/> Jay: I just want to remind you I'm going to be severely punished when Mom finds out. <br/> Jay: I would like it to be worth it. <br/> <br/> Blue: So, up to me, huh? Well, what makes you think I don't already HAVE what you're offering? <br/> Jay: I know you hired some P.I.s to find Blondie, but if you found her, you wouldn't be in a funk, would you? But there's no need for that. Mom bugged her that time she went to visit Mike. <br/> Blue: THAT is your information? I already know that! I just don't have the password, Watson! <br/> Jay: But *I* do. <br/> Blue: Oh, do you? <br/> <br/> Jay: Yeah. But if you think you can figure it out by yourself before tomor- <br/> << !! >> <br/> [[Blue surprises Jay with a full-on kiss on the lips.]] http://crfh.net/d/20071017.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20071017.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Wednesday, October 17, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> [[Blue is outdoors on the Green estate, brushing Tuft the blue dracopuppy. Jay approaches.]] <br/> Jay: Hey. They told me you were here with Tuft. Seems like you spend a lot of time with him and the horses these days. <br/> Blue: I think I'm a bit sick of human company, thanks. That means go away. <br/> Jay: Hahah, now I'm human? The way you treat me, you'd think I was a troll or something. <br/> Blue: Humm. <br/> Jay: I'm joking, Blue. I will be going on my way. But I have something that might cheer you up. <br/> <br/> Blue: Unless you're a closet necromancer and can bring Mike back to life, no, there's nothing that can "cheer me up". <br/> Jay: Oh, I think this will. It's something you really, really want. <br/> Blue: How do YOU know what I want? <br/> Jay: You want your revenge. <br/> Jay: You don't want to watch. You want to strike. <br/> Jay: The question is... what will you give me for it? http://crfh.net/d/20070924.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20070924.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, September 24, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> Margaret: Also, next time could you just plan ahead? Thank you! <br/> Roger: [[off-panel]] Pfft. I bet if I was Dave, you'd even DRIVE me there. <br/> [[Roger walks away from Margaret and Dave.]] <br/> Margaret: Huh? What the heck is THAT supposed to mean? <br/> Margaret: Hey! HEY! Get back here and explain, dammit! <br/> <br/> Margaret: Man. What IS it with Roger lately? <br/> Dave: I dunno. Maybe it's Joe's fault. He's evil? <br/> [[Dave finds himself staring at Margaret's perfectly toned butt.]] <br/> Margaret: I think something's bothering him. He's very distracted. Has he mentioned something to you? <br/> Dave: I think he has cooler and hairier friends now. <br/> [[By now, Dave is very distracted by Margaret's butt.]] <br/> Dave: Tight, firm.... friends. <br/> <br/> Margaret: And SPEAKING of distractions... <br/> [[Dave's face turns very red.]] <br/> Dave: Uhhh... I'm not... staring at your butt? <br/> Dave: [[thinking]] right this second. <br/> Margaret: Yeah, GOOD example. http://crfh.net/d/20071016.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20071016.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Tuesday, October 16, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> [[Dave and Roger are in their bedroom.]] <br/> Roger: Look, Dave. I was just going to move out anyway. I told you, Joe's training me, and his house is closer to campus and Diana's place. That's why I was looking for some roommates... I wasn't planning to just leave you with the rent problem. <br/> Dave: Excuses, pretty excuses! You're ditching me. You LOSER. <br/> Roger: Maybe I am. But hey, I'll attend NOES meetings. <br/> Dave: Loser ditcher excuser. No less, no more. <br/> Roger: I'll leave you a list of candidates, and... oh. I almost forgot. <br/> <br/> [[Roger tosses Dave the keys to Mike's convertible.]] <br/> Dave: Uh? Wait, the keys to the convertible? What for? <br/> Roger: I'll deprive myself of Madame's pleasant company, just so YOU can return Mike's things. <br/> Dave: What? <br/> Roger: C'mon, did you really think I was doing it for the new roommate? I was hoping you'd put two and two together. <br/> Dave: Right. RIGHT, I could do that. I could definitely do that. Mmmh, but... <br/> <br/> [[Marsha, still grim and silent, is in the bedroom closet, eavesdropping on Dave and Roger.]] <br/> Roger: [[off-panel]] But nothing. Just go. <br/> Dave: [[off-panel]] Er... actually, have not finished packing Mike's stuff, and... <br/> Roger: [[off-panel]] You know what? I changed my mind. Gimme back the keys. I'll just TOSS you there. <br/> Dave: [[off-panel]] But then again, I can always make two trips, right? http://crfh.net/d/20071015.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20071015.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Monday, October 15, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> [[Roger and Dave are in their bedroom. Roger is holding a purple bag, and looks angry.]] <br/> Dave: Uh, Rog... <br/> Roger: [[growling]] RRRRRR <br/> Dave: Look, I just wanted to apologize. I found some drawings, and since you made that dragon pic, I assumed... <br/> Roger: Mike drew that one, Dave. You should know I profess absolute loyalty to the French cubism. <br/> Dave: And chibi? <br/> Roger: And chibi. Now go away, I still have a lot to pack. <br/> Dave: But... you don't have to go away. I said I'm sorry. <br/> <br/> Roger: I'm sorry too, I really flew off the handle there. I guess we've all been on edge since Mike died. Here, have some peace second-hand licorice whip. <br/> [[Roger offers the licorice whip to Dave. We see that he is wearing a shirt which says "Hot Dog".]] <br/> Dave: Uh... that isn't the licorice whip you were hitting that bald guy with, is it? <br/> Roger: Yes it is. It's extra-flavored. <br/> Dave: No, thanks, I'm on a fat-free diet. http://crfh.net/d/20071012.html <a href="http://crfh.net/d/20071012.html">College Roomies from Hell!!! for Friday, October 12, 2007</a><br />"; <br /> Dave: Okay, so I screwed up. Why do I need to apologize? I punched him without any reason, and he almost got me killed. We're sort of even, right? <br/> Margaret: Because if he moves out, there's no NOES anymore? <br/> Dave: But why don't we just let it sit for a day or two? Then, when he's a little less pissed, we can have a meeting... <br/> Margaret: Here's a tip, Dave: time only makes things worse. When you need to apologize, you do it right away. <br/> <br/> Dave: Are you trying to tell me something? <br/> Margaret: I'm just trying to tell you that your really cute butt is the only thing standing between us and the Apocalypse. That's all. <br/> Dave: No pressure there, huh? Well, thank you. <br/> Margaret: Really Dave, you only need to do some squats to keep it fit.