Fit and the Conniptions - latest additions http://conniptions.org/ The latest transcribed Fit and the Conniptions comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:42:03 -0000 60 This Is As Deep As It Gets http://conniptions.org/?20120420 http://conniptions.org/?20120420 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:17:31 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120420">This Is As Deep As It Gets</a><br> <br> [First panel - Music Marketing Panda - hair today, big tomorrow] <br> <br> MMP: We have been over the basics, so now it's time to get deep! Let's talk about the single most important element of your music career!!!!!!!!! That's right - it's your haircut!!!!!!!!!! <br> <br> MMP: Unless you carefully maintain a unique and personal style that mirrors your soul, even the most constant declarations of genius won't get recognised!!!!! <br> <br> MMP: So here's my smoking hot tip for all you Music Marketing Pandarers out there: set up a Google Alert for 'hot new hair trends'!!! It's easy and fun!!!! Do it now!!!!! This Is As Deep As It Gets

[First panel - Music Marketing Panda - hair today, big tomorrow]

MMP: We have been over the basics, so now it's time to get deep! Let's talk about the single most important element of your music career!!!!!!!!! That's right - it's your haircut!!!!!!!!!!

MMP: Unless you carefully maintain a unique and personal style that mirrors your soul, even the most constant declarations of genius won't get recognised!!!!!

MMP: So here's my smoking hot tip for all you Music Marketing Pandarers out there: set up a Google Alert for 'hot new hair trends'!!! It's easy and fun!!!! Do it now!!!!!]]> Email Blasts And Why Yours Are Not Spam http://conniptions.org/?20120413 http://conniptions.org/?20120413 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:14:45 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120413">Email Blasts And Why Yours Are Not Spam</a><br> <br> [First panel: Music Marketing Panda - true genius never asks permission] <br> <br> MMP: I'm back, I'm bad, and I'm Music Marketing Panda!!! Hey! Last time we talked about email blasts and why yours aren't spam!!! <br> <br> MMP: Remember, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission!!! As a genius, you never need to ask permission for anything!!! <br> <br> MMP: In fact, as a genius, you don't need to ask for forgiveness either! The little people - your fans - love that shit!!! We'll talk more about the little people later! Email Blasts And Why Yours Are Not Spam

[First panel: Music Marketing Panda - true genius never asks permission]

MMP: I'm back, I'm bad, and I'm Music Marketing Panda!!! Hey! Last time we talked about email blasts and why yours aren't spam!!!

MMP: Remember, it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission!!! As a genius, you never need to ask permission for anything!!!

MMP: In fact, as a genius, you don't need to ask for forgiveness either! The little people - your fans - love that shit!!! We'll talk more about the little people later!]]> The Fact That This Is No Big Deal Is A Big Deal http://conniptions.org/?20120411 http://conniptions.org/?20120411 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:12:12 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120411">The Fact That This Is No Big Deal Is A Big Deal</a><br> <br> Wayne: Might make me seem old, but I'm totally jazzed by the fact that video from last night's gig is already on YouTube. <br> <br> Chicken: Never mind that. What's with the piece of paper stuck to the mike stand? <br> Wayne: It says 'Keep Calm And Carry On' on it. <br> <br> Chicken: Like fuck it does. <br> <br> [Comic links to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZGTdouTwPA ] The Fact That This Is No Big Deal Is A Big Deal

Wayne: Might make me seem old, but I'm totally jazzed by the fact that video from last night's gig is already on YouTube.

Chicken: Never mind that. What's with the piece of paper stuck to the mike stand?
Wayne: It says 'Keep Calm And Carry On' on it.

Chicken: Like fuck it does.

[Comic links to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZGTdouTwPA ]]]> I Will Know When It Happens http://conniptions.org/?20120409 http://conniptions.org/?20120409 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:10:22 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120409">I Will Know When It Happens</a><br> <br> Wayne: I'm really looking forward to the gig at the Spice of Life in Soho tomorrow night. <br> <br> Chicken: Seriously? You do a variant of this comic for basically every gig you do. <br> Wayne: It will work eventually. <br> <br> Chicken: Work how? <br> Wayne: I don't know. I Will Know When It Happens

Wayne: I'm really looking forward to the gig at the Spice of Life in Soho tomorrow night.

Chicken: Seriously? You do a variant of this comic for basically every gig you do.
Wayne: It will work eventually.

Chicken: Work how?
Wayne: I don't know.]]> Most Musicians Seem To Already Have This One Down http://conniptions.org/?20120406 http://conniptions.org/?20120406 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:08:53 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120406">Most Musicians Seem To Already Have This One Down</a><br> <br> [First panel: Music Marketing Panda - Step 2 - email blasts that rock the planet] <br> <br> MMP: Here's your step two to guaranteed music marketing success, Music Marketing Panda fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <br> <br> MMP: Step two is email!!! Don't just send your blasts to your whole address book - that's thinking small!! Add anyone who was ever cc'ed into your inbox too!!! Plus random music people off the internet!!!!! They'll be glad you found them!!!! <br> <br> MMP: When others do this it's spam, but not you!! Remember - you're a genius!!!!!!!!!!!! Most Musicians Seem To Already Have This One Down

[First panel: Music Marketing Panda - Step 2 - email blasts that rock the planet]

MMP: Here's your step two to guaranteed music marketing success, Music Marketing Panda fans!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MMP: Step two is email!!! Don't just send your blasts to your whole address book - that's thinking small!! Add anyone who was ever cc'ed into your inbox too!!! Plus random music people off the internet!!!!! They'll be glad you found them!!!!

MMP: When others do this it's spam, but not you!! Remember - you're a genius!!!!!!!!!!!!]]> True Genius Can Make Circular Arguments Work http://conniptions.org/?20120330 http://conniptions.org/?20120330 Sat, 21 Apr 2012 17:04:34 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120330">True Genius Can Make Circular Arguments Work</a><br> <br> [First panel: Music Marketing Panda - true genius can never be wrong] <br> <br> MMP: Music Marketing Panda again, responding to comments on Attitude, Your Step One To Biiig Music Marketing Win!!! <br> <br> MMP: Several of you wrote saying only a dick would go around constantly declaring their genius!!! This is not true!!! Wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!! <br> <br> MMP: Yes, others might call it "being dick", but they're wrong!!! And you're right! Always!! Because you're a genius!!!!! So it's ok!!!!!!! True Genius Can Make Circular Arguments Work

[First panel: Music Marketing Panda - true genius can never be wrong]

MMP: Music Marketing Panda again, responding to comments on Attitude, Your Step One To Biiig Music Marketing Win!!!

MMP: Several of you wrote saying only a dick would go around constantly declaring their genius!!! This is not true!!! Wrong wrong wrong wrong!!!!!!!!

MMP: Yes, others might call it "being dick", but they're wrong!!! And you're right! Always!! Because you're a genius!!!!! So it's ok!!!!!!!]]> You Cannot Take Yourself Too Seriously http://conniptions.org/?20120316 http://conniptions.org/?20120316 Fri, 16 Mar 2012 17:46:35 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120316">You Cannot Take Yourself Too Seriously</a><br> <br> [First panel is title: Music Marketing Panda - the first step is all about your attitude] <br> <br> MMP: Music Marketing Panda here, with Step One on your road to genuinely outrageous music success!!!!! Step One isn't attitude, it's attitude attitude attitude attitude!!!!!!!!!! <br> <br> MMP: You may know you're a genius, but unless you tell the world about it at every opportunity, how will anyone else know??!! Act the part!!!! <br> <br> MMP: Declare your supreme and godlike genius constantly!!!! NME will hear you in the end!!!! You Cannot Take Yourself Too Seriously

[First panel is title: Music Marketing Panda - the first step is all about your attitude]

MMP: Music Marketing Panda here, with Step One on your road to genuinely outrageous music success!!!!! Step One isn't attitude, it's attitude attitude attitude attitude!!!!!!!!!!

MMP: You may know you're a genius, but unless you tell the world about it at every opportunity, how will anyone else know??!! Act the part!!!!

MMP: Declare your supreme and godlike genius constantly!!!! NME will hear you in the end!!!!]]> Look At It Like An Investment http://conniptions.org/?20120312 http://conniptions.org/?20120312 Mon, 12 Mar 2012 19:38:04 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120312">Look At It Like An Investment</a><br> <br> Chicken: So, uh, Wayne, about Music Marketing Panda. <br> Wayne: Yes? <br> <br> Chicken: You haven't paid anything for this 'Ten Easy Steps To Fame And Fortune' course, have you? <br> Wayne: Um... <br> <br> Wayne: The instalments are very reasonable... <br> Chicken: Jesus. Look At It Like An Investment

Chicken: So, uh, Wayne, about Music Marketing Panda.
Wayne: Yes?

Chicken: You haven't paid anything for this 'Ten Easy Steps To Fame And Fortune' course, have you?
Wayne: Um...

Wayne: The instalments are very reasonable...
Chicken: Jesus.]]> Ten Easy Steps To Fame And Fortune http://conniptions.org/?20120309 http://conniptions.org/?20120309 Fri, 09 Mar 2012 15:29:59 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/?20120309">Ten Easy Steps To Fame And Fortune</a><br> <br> [First panel: Music Marketing Panda - ten easy steps to fame and fortune] <br> <br> Music Marketing Panda: Hi! I'm Music Marketing Panda, and I'm here to help you become a huge music star!!!! <br> <br> MMP: With my Guaranteed Ten Step Music Marketing Panda Plan (tm), you'll be playing those huge stadiums and snorting cocaine of the exposed midriffs of supermodels in no time at all!!!!! <br> <br> MMP: You'll be the biggest music star in the whole world!!!!! All of you!!! Ten Easy Steps To Fame And Fortune

[First panel: Music Marketing Panda - ten easy steps to fame and fortune]

Music Marketing Panda: Hi! I'm Music Marketing Panda, and I'm here to help you become a huge music star!!!!

MMP: With my Guaranteed Ten Step Music Marketing Panda Plan (tm), you'll be playing those huge stadiums and snorting cocaine of the exposed midriffs of supermodels in no time at all!!!!!

MMP: You'll be the biggest music star in the whole world!!!!! All of you!!!]]> Oh Shit http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20120307 http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20120307 Thu, 08 Mar 2012 03:52:33 -0000 <a href="http://conniptions.org/index.shtml?20120307">Oh Shit</a><br> <br> Wayne: Thing is, I'm rubbish at self-promotion. I need help. <br> Chicken: Yes. You do. <br> <br> MMP [appearing out of nowhere]: Hi there! I'm Music Marketing Panda!! <br> <br> Wayne+Chicken: Oh shit. <br> <br> MMP: I can give you the skills you need!!!! <br> Wayne+Chicken: Oh shit. Oh Shit

Wayne: Thing is, I'm rubbish at self-promotion. I need help.
Chicken: Yes. You do.

MMP [appearing out of nowhere]: Hi there! I'm Music Marketing Panda!!

Wayne+Chicken: Oh shit.

MMP: I can give you the skills you need!!!!
Wayne+Chicken: Oh shit.]]>