Thinkin' Lincoln - latest additions

Thinkin' Lincoln - latest additions http://thinkin-lincoln.com The latest transcribed Thinkin' Lincoln comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 30 Nov 2009 05:12:05 -0000 60 Maize v. Corn http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=941 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=941 Mon, 30 Nov 2009 04:58:49 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=941">Maize v. Corn</a> [[Abe is wearing an Native American wig with feathers]] Abe: Hey everybody! I'm here to teach you about how not to starve your way through the winter! [[George Washington looks amused]] George: Sweet! can you teach us how to grow some corn? I got a mighty colonial hankering for some corn. [[Abe looks irritated]] Abe: Dude, we Indians hate corn. That's very insensitive to our culture. Abe: We only like maize. [[Washington is yelling.]] George: I don't want any stupid maize! I only want corn! George: CORN CORN CORN [[Abe now too, is yelling]] Abe: NO! ONLY MAIZE! Abe: WE WILL FIGHT NOW ON THIS HISTORIC DAY. [[Abe is biting Washington's head, looking crazy. Washitngton is looking angry.]] Abe: rrrrrrrr fighting. George: I'M NOT THANKFUL FOR THIS AT ALL Maize v. Corn

[[Abe is wearing an Native American wig with feathers]]
Abe: Hey everybody! I'm here to teach you about how not to starve your way through the winter!

[[George Washington looks amused]]
George: Sweet! can you teach us how to grow some corn? I got a mighty colonial hankering for some corn.

[[Abe looks irritated]]
Abe: Dude, we Indians hate corn. That's very insensitive to our culture.
Abe: We only like maize.

[[Washington is yelling.]]
George: I don't want any stupid maize! I only want corn!
George: CORN CORN CORN

[[Abe now too, is yelling]]
Abe: NO! ONLY MAIZE!
Abe: WE WILL FIGHT NOW ON THIS HISTORIC DAY.

[[Abe is biting Washington's head, looking crazy. Washitngton is looking angry.]]
Abe: rrrrrrrr fighting.
George: I'M NOT THANKFUL FOR THIS AT ALL]]> Autumn Splendor | Thinkin' Lincoln : A Weekly Webcomic by Miles Grover http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=937 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=937 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:28:03 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=937">Autumn Splendor | Thinkin' Lincoln : A Weekly Webcomic by Miles Grover</a> Darwin: Ah, the trees are so beautiful this time of year! Don't you just love the splendor of nature? [[Lincoln rolls eyes.]] Lincoln: Autumn? Pshh, whatever. I can do better! [[Lincoln holds breath, turns yellow.]] [[Lincoln still holds breath, head slightly tilted, and turns orange.]] [[Lincoln continues to hold breath and tilts further still, and is now red.]] [[Lincoln has a disappointed/horrified look on his face, is on the ground, and is now dark with cracks.]] Darwin: I'll... go get the rake. Autumn Splendor | Thinkin' Lincoln : A Weekly Webcomic by Miles Grover

Darwin: Ah, the trees are so beautiful this time of year! Don't you just love the splendor of nature?

[[Lincoln rolls eyes.]]
Lincoln: Autumn? Pshh, whatever. I can do better!

[[Lincoln holds breath, turns yellow.]]

[[Lincoln still holds breath, head slightly tilted, and turns orange.]]

[[Lincoln continues to hold breath and tilts further still, and is now red.]]

[[Lincoln has a disappointed/horrified look on his face, is on the ground, and is now dark with cracks.]]
Darwin: I'll... go get the rake.]]> Valiant Imagination http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=936 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=936 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:27:34 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=936">Valiant Imagination</a> [[An old time radio, playing music.]] <<two connected eighth notes>> Young Martha: What do you think this singer looks like? Abe: Hmm? Oh, Im sure he has Prince Valiant hair. Young Martha: Huh? I don't think he sounds like he has Prince Valiant hair. Abe: I dunno, I guess I always imagine singers as having Prince Valiant hair. People who read audiobooks, too. Pretty much any recorded voice, come to think of it. [[Later: Abe is listening to a personal tape recorder.]] Abe (coming from tape recorder): Note to self: get more eggs at the store. Abe (thinking): Man, all out of eggs and a Prince Valiant haircut. What a sad time in my life yesterday was. [[Abe imagines himself with a Prince Valiant haircut.]] {{Alt Text: when I imagine you reading this alt text, you have Prince Valiant hair}} Valiant Imagination

[[An old time radio, playing music.]]
<>

Young Martha: What do you think this singer looks like?

Abe: Hmm? Oh, Im sure he has Prince Valiant hair.

Young Martha: Huh? I don't think he sounds like he has Prince Valiant hair.

Abe: I dunno, I guess I always imagine singers as having Prince Valiant hair. People who read audiobooks, too. Pretty much any recorded voice, come to think of it.

[[Later: Abe is listening to a personal tape recorder.]]
Abe (coming from tape recorder): Note to self: get more eggs at the store.
Abe (thinking): Man, all out of eggs and a Prince Valiant haircut. What a sad time in my life yesterday was.
[[Abe imagines himself with a Prince Valiant haircut.]]

{{Alt Text: when I imagine you reading this alt text, you have Prince Valiant hair}}]]> Designer Beard http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=935 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=935 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:26:55 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=935">Designer Beard</a> [[Abe and George are observing a couple with glasses. The man has a beard reminiscent of Abe's. Everything is drawn in the style of The Far Side.]] (Caption) Abe: I paid a lot of money for this designer beard, and for what? To have some other guy at the party wearing the same one?" {{Alt Text: If you're a guy who wears a special kind of beard, this can happen to you.}} Designer Beard

[[Abe and George are observing a couple with glasses. The man has a beard reminiscent of Abe's. Everything is drawn in the style of The Far Side.]]
(Caption) Abe: I paid a lot of money for this designer beard, and for what? To have some other guy at the party wearing the same one?"

{{Alt Text: If you're a guy who wears a special kind of beard, this can happen to you.}}]]> Attention Spans http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=934 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=934 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:26:31 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=934">Attention Spans</a> Freud: So what we have to do if we want to figure out how to escape this reality is-- Abe: Ichlor on a stick-lor! Are you still talking about that whole thing? Ichlor: Hey. Somebody call Ichlor? Abe: Hi Ichlor. Can you tell Freud I'm bored of his dumb face-- Abe: Hang on a sec, you respond to "Iclor on a stick-lor?" Ichlor: uhhh ICHLOR CAN RESPOND TO ANY NAME ICHLOR WANT OK HE IS GOD Orcalor: YO EVERYBODY WHAT UP ITS ORCALOR THE BEST GOD IN THE SEA OH HEY DIDNT SEE YOU THERE "STICKY ICHY" {{Alt Text: none of these names are names Ichlor wants to be responding to, ideally}} Attention Spans

Freud: So what we have to do if we want to figure out how to escape this reality is--

Abe: Ichlor on a stick-lor! Are you still talking about that whole thing?

Ichlor: Hey. Somebody call Ichlor?

Abe: Hi Ichlor. Can you tell Freud I'm bored of his dumb face--

Abe: Hang on a sec, you respond to "Iclor on a stick-lor?"

Ichlor: uhhh
ICHLOR CAN RESPOND TO ANY NAME ICHLOR WANT OK HE IS GOD

Orcalor: YO EVERYBODY WHAT UP ITS ORCALOR THE BEST GOD IN THE SEA OH HEY DIDNT SEE YOU THERE "STICKY ICHY"

{{Alt Text: none of these names are names Ichlor wants to be responding to, ideally}}]]> I Didn't Write the Title of This Comic http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=933 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=933 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:25:55 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=933">I Didn't Write the Title of This Comic</a> [[Elsewhere:]] Miles: Man, why'd you make me do that? Miles: Those last couple comics weren't really very funny. I mean, it's some pretty tired stuff don't you think? Miles: Not really the kind of thing-- Well, yes, I mean I know you liked it but-- Miles: Yes. Of course, master. They were very funny. [[Mewsevelt]] Miles: No, I definitely agree; the funniest thing is when my favorite president is hurt and humiliated. {{Alt Text: please don't make me write this alt text}} I Didn't Write the Title of This Comic

[[Elsewhere:]]
Miles: Man, why'd you make me do that?

Miles: Those last couple comics weren't really very funny. I mean, it's some pretty tired stuff don't you think?

Miles: Not really the kind of thing--
Well, yes, I mean I know you liked it but--

Miles: Yes. Of course, master. They were very funny.

[[Mewsevelt]]

Miles: No, I definitely agree; the funniest thing is when my favorite president is hurt and humiliated.

{{Alt Text: please don't make me write this alt text}}]]> The Principles of Comedy http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=932 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=932 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:25:33 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=932">The Principles of Comedy</a> Freud: A giant spoon from nowhere...? Oh my Gerber! That's it! Freud: In the Matrix the world works on computers or whatever, whereas in OUR world what happens is dictated by the principles of comedy! [[Freud glances to the side skeptically.]] Freud: Or what can loosely be called comedy, anyway. Abe: I think I get it! I SURE HOPE NO GIANT PILES OF MONEY WILL LAND ON MY FACE AND CAUSE ME PAIN Abe: Eh? Eh? That sure would be hilariously unpleasant for me! [[Then: Abe is cowering on the ground.]] Abe (in his mind): Instead of what I wanted I was somehow kicked in the invisible man nards {{Alt Text: Nards is slang which is short for the scientific name of the body part, 'gonards' The Principles of Comedy

Freud: A giant spoon from nowhere...?
Oh my Gerber! That's it!

Freud: In the Matrix the world works on computers or whatever, whereas in OUR world what happens is dictated by the principles of comedy!

[[Freud glances to the side skeptically.]]
Freud: Or what can loosely be called comedy, anyway.

Abe: I think I get it!
I SURE HOPE NO GIANT PILES OF MONEY WILL LAND ON MY FACE AND CAUSE ME PAIN

Abe: Eh? Eh? That sure would be hilariously unpleasant for me!

[[Then: Abe is cowering on the ground.]]
Abe (in his mind): Instead of what I wanted I was somehow kicked in the invisible man nards

{{Alt Text: Nards is slang which is short for the scientific name of the body part, 'gonards']]> On the Existence of Spoons http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=931 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=931 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:24:54 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=931">On the Existence of Spoons</a> Abe: All right well that was pretty weird. I admit I don't really see that happening to the historical Freud. Abe: So but let's say hypothetically you're right and this world is all a weird fiction. What do we do about it? Freud: We have to escape! Abe (off panel): How do we escape from uh the universe? Freud: Er, well I don't... know... exactly. Abe: I bet it's like the Matrix! You probably just have to stop believing in the world and be all like "THERE IS NO SPOON" [[A giant spoon falls onto Abe's head]] <<CLONK>> Abe: whoa {{Alt Text: I know kung fu}} On the Existence of Spoons

Abe: All right well that was pretty weird.
I admit I don't really see that happening to the historical Freud.

Abe: So but let's say hypothetically you're right and this world is all a weird fiction.
What do we do about it?

Freud: We have to escape!
Abe (off panel): How do we escape from uh the universe?

Freud: Er, well I don't... know... exactly.

Abe: I bet it's like the Matrix! You probably just have to stop believing in the world and be all like
"THERE IS NO SPOON"

[[A giant spoon falls onto Abe's head]]
<>
Abe: whoa

{{Alt Text: I know kung fu}}]]> [Redacted] http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=930 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=930 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:24:31 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=930">[Redacted]</a> Lincoln: So uh, who was that guy? Freud: That was the author. You know, the guy who created this whole fictional world we're in? NOW do you believe me? Lincoln: I dunno, he seemed like pretty much just a guy. Though he did have a really excellent beard... Freud: Indeed, it was truly an exquisite specimen of manly-- Freud: Wait! He's making us say nice stuff about him! He's-- Freud: ******** see? ************mi**********l*******es ************g***r*************over ****** ************ is *****o**n****e****s ******* we e****** t*** d*******ud **** ****e! {{Alt Text: I spent way too much time writing some semi-plausible dialog in there to totally cover up with black bars}} [Redacted]

Lincoln: So uh, who was that guy?

Freud: That was the author. You know, the guy who created this whole fictional world we're in?
NOW do you believe me?

Lincoln: I dunno, he seemed like pretty much just a guy. Though he did have a really excellent beard...

Freud: Indeed, it was truly an exquisite specimen of manly--

Freud: Wait! He's making us say nice stuff about him! He's--

Freud: ******** see? ************mi**********l*******es ************g***r*************over ******
************ is *****o**n****e****s ******* we e****** t*** d*******ud **** ****e!

{{Alt Text: I spent way too much time writing some semi-plausible dialog in there to totally cover up with black bars}}]]> Summoning Circle http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=929 http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=929 Sun, 22 Nov 2009 16:23:54 -0000 <a href="http://thinkin-lincoln.com/index.php?strip_id=929">Summoning Circle</a> [[Miles is in a summoning circle.]] Miles: So, anyway, I'm outta here. [[Freud is in a swami hat, like Johnny Carson.]] What! You can't leave. I summoned you! [[Words with an arrow pointing down to the summoning circle.]] Words: IT'S PRETTY EASY I JUST DON'T DRAW MYSELF HERE [[Freud with no more swami hat, but with words above him.]] Words: ALSO GETTING RID OF THAT RIDICULOUS HAT JUST FYI Freud: But you were inside a psychiatric summoning circle! Words: THAT ISN'T A THING Freud: Look, that's the whole point of summoning circles: the summoned thing can't leave them. [[A crudely drawn butt with words above it, and a crudely written caption beneath it, along with an arrow pointing at the butt.]] Words: OH I GUESS YOU DREW IT WRONG Caption: I ACTUALLY DREW A BUT --FREUD Summoning Circle

[[Miles is in a summoning circle.]]
Miles: So, anyway, I'm outta here.

[[Freud is in a swami hat, like Johnny Carson.]]
What! You can't leave. I summoned you!

[[Words with an arrow pointing down to the summoning circle.]]
Words: IT'S PRETTY EASY I JUST DON'T DRAW MYSELF HERE

[[Freud with no more swami hat, but with words above him.]]
Words: ALSO GETTING RID OF THAT RIDICULOUS HAT JUST FYI

Freud: But you were inside a psychiatric summoning circle!
Words: THAT ISN'T A THING
Freud: Look, that's the whole point of summoning circles: the summoned thing can't leave them.

[[A crudely drawn butt with words above it, and a crudely written caption beneath it, along with an arrow pointing at the butt.]]
Words: OH I GUESS YOU DREW IT WRONG
Caption: I ACTUALLY DREW A BUT
--FREUD]]>