Suburban Tribe - latest additions

Suburban Tribe - latest additions http://suburbantribe.net/ The latest transcribed Suburban Tribe comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Sun, 19 Apr 2009 21:01:00 -0000 60 s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20080521 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20080521 Thu, 29 May 2008 14:00:13 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20080521">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> Narrator: The Next Day... [[At the office, Alan holding coffee; Jessica speaks from off-panel]] Alan: Sigh... Jessica: YOU are the smartest man alive. Alan: Ehn? [[Jessica now in-panel, wearing an "It's Okay to Drink Alone" t-shirt.]] Alan: Oh... No. Jessica: Alan, if you had shown this kind of insight--no, not insight; PROFUNDITY--when we were dating, we'd still be together. Alan: Oh, my god. [[Jessica leans forward, definitely getting into Alan's "personal space".]] Alan: Jessica... Jessica: No! It IS okay to drink alone! Racial minorities have their movements, Alan! Homosexuals have theirs! It's time we had OURS! Alan: Who? You mean WINE-Os? Jessica: [[Waggling tongue suggestively]] Let's go to the supply closet. It'll be our secret. Alan: NO! s u b u r b a n t r i b e

Narrator: The Next Day...

[[At the office, Alan holding coffee; Jessica speaks from off-panel]]

Alan: Sigh...
Jessica: YOU are the smartest man alive.
Alan: Ehn?

[[Jessica now in-panel, wearing an "It's Okay to Drink Alone" t-shirt.]]

Alan: Oh... No.
Jessica: Alan, if you had shown this kind of insight--no, not insight; PROFUNDITY--when we were dating, we'd still be together.
Alan: Oh, my god.

[[Jessica leans forward, definitely getting into Alan's "personal space".]]

Alan: Jessica...
Jessica: No! It IS okay to drink alone! Racial minorities have their movements, Alan! Homosexuals have theirs! It's time we had OURS!

Alan: Who? You mean WINE-Os?
Jessica: [[Waggling tongue suggestively]] Let's go to the supply closet. It'll be our secret.
Alan: NO!]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070817 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070817 Mon, 20 Aug 2007 10:49:50 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070817">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> [[In the breakroom at work]] CAROL: What're you working on today, Alan? ALAN: I have NOTHING to do today. CAROL: Me neither. CAROL: I could use a LOOOONG weekend. ALAN [[drinking coffee]]: Me too. It HAS been one darn thing after another these days, hasn't it? CAROL: C'MON! Let's go! ALAN: What? We can't just LEAVE. CAROL: Why not? It's not like we'll never come BACK. ALAN: Where would we GO? CAROL [[taking coffee cup from Alan]]: Wherever we want! [[Alan and Carol are gone, with Alan's coffee cup left on the counter in an empty room.]] s u b u r b a n t r i b e

[[In the breakroom at work]]
CAROL: What're you working on today, Alan?
ALAN: I have NOTHING to do today.
CAROL: Me neither.

CAROL: I could use a LOOOONG weekend.
ALAN [[drinking coffee]]: Me too. It HAS been one darn thing after another these days, hasn't it?

CAROL: C'MON! Let's go!
ALAN: What? We can't just LEAVE.
CAROL: Why not? It's not like we'll never come BACK.
ALAN: Where would we GO?
CAROL [[taking coffee cup from Alan]]: Wherever we want!

[[Alan and Carol are gone, with Alan's coffee cup left on the counter in an empty room.]]]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070801 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070801 Wed, 01 Aug 2007 18:00:59 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070801">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> [[Tiffany Dawber, at the eye doctor's office. On the desk is a bag from McDonalds.]] Tiffany: I have never needed glasses in my life. Doctor: Well, you're getting older, and you work on a computer all day... Tiffany: In my life, you quack! Tiffany: Look, we can test again. That eye chart! That last letter! That's an "F". I meant to say "F"! Doctor: It's an "O". Tiffany: Doc, you don't understand. I'm over thirty. I'm still single. And I live alone... with a cat! Think of my social life, sir! Tiffany: Hey, your lunch smells like McDonalds... but when did they change their logo to an "X"? Doctor: We have a wide selection of attractive frames. s u b u r b a n t r i b e

[[Tiffany Dawber, at the eye doctor's office. On the desk is a bag from McDonalds.]]
Tiffany: I have never needed glasses in my life.
Doctor: Well, you're getting older, and you work on a computer all day...
Tiffany: In my life, you quack!

Tiffany: Look, we can test again. That eye chart! That last letter! That's an "F". I meant to say "F"!
Doctor: It's an "O".

Tiffany: Doc, you don't understand. I'm over thirty. I'm still single. And I live alone... with a cat! Think of my social life, sir!

Tiffany: Hey, your lunch smells like McDonalds... but when did they change their logo to an "X"?
Doctor: We have a wide selection of attractive frames.]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070725 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070725 Fri, 27 Jul 2007 17:08:56 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070725">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> [[Throne Room - Charles, Prince of Wales and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, examine an open package. Prince Charles reads from a sheaf of papers.]] Charles: Roadkillwear.com? Camilla: It only just arrived. No return address. Charles: Apparently, this company takes any manner of dead rodentia you send them and turns it into a custom-made hat. Charles: A cruel and deplorable prank! Just when I thought England was beginning to accept you. It's enough to make one wish the Tower was operational. Camilla: Well, I don't know, Charles. I rather like it. Charles: What? I-- I-- [[Only Camilla's legs are visible, rising from bottom right of the frame. One of her shoes is off.]] Charles: My God, you look ravishing! Camilla: Oh, Charles! [[Caesar sits at the computer.]] <<TIK TAK TIK>> s u b u r b a n t r i b e

[[Throne Room - Charles, Prince of Wales and Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall, examine an open package. Prince Charles reads from a sheaf of papers.]]
Charles: Roadkillwear.com?
Camilla: It only just arrived. No return address.
Charles: Apparently, this company takes any manner of dead rodentia you send them and turns it into a custom-made hat.

Charles: A cruel and deplorable prank! Just when I thought England was beginning to accept you. It's enough to make one wish the Tower was operational.
Camilla: Well, I don't know, Charles. I rather like it.
Charles: What? I-- I--

[[Only Camilla's legs are visible, rising from bottom right of the frame. One of her shoes is off.]]
Charles: My God, you look ravishing!
Camilla: Oh, Charles!

[[Caesar sits at the computer.]]
<>]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070727 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070727 Fri, 27 Jul 2007 15:13:57 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070727">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> [[A tornado descends from a threatening grey sky, imperiling a small, lone house]] [[A woman looks over her shoulder, terrified by a swarm of bees which echoes the shape of the tornado.]] [[The portly creator of a Webcomic about a gaming magazine lies slumped at his desk, his head lying on his computer's keyboard, with a kitchen knife protruding from his back.]] [[Caesar sits at his computer.]] <<TIK TAK TIK>> s u b u r b a n t r i b e

[[A tornado descends from a threatening grey sky, imperiling a small, lone house]]

[[A woman looks over her shoulder, terrified by a swarm of bees which echoes the shape of the tornado.]]

[[The portly creator of a Webcomic about a gaming magazine lies slumped at his desk, his head lying on his computer's keyboard, with a kitchen knife protruding from his back.]]

[[Caesar sits at his computer.]]
<>]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070321 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070321 Fri, 23 Mar 2007 21:22:38 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070321">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> Tiffany: You remember Catholic school, Carol? Tiffany: Like anyone forgets Catholic school. Tiffany: We've both had our confession. Now here's our penance: Tiffany: I've met with Bob Yesman. Tiffany: He's been watching the Girl's Next Door, and he doesn't like what he sees. Tiffany: I've promised that I can deliver the agency to him after the show, and he doesn't need to involve himself. Tiffany: My only demand: no outsourcing. Tiffany: The last episode will be shot next week, followed by a party held at the agency in true Playboy fashion: boobs, butts, and booze. Tiffany: Roger will sign a contract there, giving him control of the agency. Tiffany: You and I will opt not to show up in the name of feminism or... something... Tiffany: ...but we will be there. s u b u r b a n t r i b e

Tiffany: You remember Catholic school, Carol?
Tiffany: Like anyone forgets Catholic school.
Tiffany: We've both had our confession. Now here's our penance:
Tiffany: I've met with Bob Yesman.
Tiffany: He's been watching the Girl's Next Door, and he doesn't like what he sees.
Tiffany: I've promised that I can deliver the agency to him after the show, and he doesn't need to involve himself.
Tiffany: My only demand: no outsourcing.
Tiffany: The last episode will be shot next week, followed by a party held at the agency in true Playboy fashion: boobs, butts, and booze.
Tiffany: Roger will sign a contract there, giving him control of the agency.
Tiffany: You and I will opt not to show up in the name of feminism or... something...
Tiffany: ...but we will be there.]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070219 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070219 Wed, 21 Feb 2007 13:20:08 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20070219">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> Hef: Well, this must be a surprise for you, Roger. HUGH HEFNER showing up at your home? RT: Er-- Uhhhm... Hef: You're familiar with my show, "The Girls Next Door"? <next panel> Hef: The show needs something NEW this season, so I've bought your old ad agency, YESMAN & PUCKERUP. If you agree to TERMS, you and the girls will run the agency in front of the camera. Once the show wraps, you can remain on board as C.E.O. under the employment of P.E.I. RT: Uhh-- Yes! Of COURSE! But Hef, old sport, how do you KNOW about me and my former employer? Hef: I'm sorry... aren't you the Roger Thornhill who sends me his MEMOIRS in two-page increments four days a week? <next panel> Hef (reading): "May 7 - As I drove past the dead deer, I wept for VIRILITY LOST... and could not help but notice how SENSUAL wet fur can be. Pulling over, I approached--" RT, eagerly: YES! That's me! s u b u r b a n t r i b e

Hef: Well, this must be a surprise for you, Roger. HUGH HEFNER showing up at your home?
RT: Er-- Uhhhm...
Hef: You're familiar with my show, "The Girls Next Door"?

Hef: The show needs something NEW this season, so I've bought your old ad agency, YESMAN & PUCKERUP. If you agree to TERMS, you and the girls will run the agency in front of the camera. Once the show wraps, you can remain on board as C.E.O. under the employment of P.E.I.
RT: Uhh-- Yes! Of COURSE! But Hef, old sport, how do you KNOW about me and my former employer?
Hef: I'm sorry... aren't you the Roger Thornhill who sends me his MEMOIRS in two-page increments four days a week?

Hef (reading): "May 7 - As I drove past the dead deer, I wept for VIRILITY LOST... and could not help but notice how SENSUAL wet fur can be. Pulling over, I approached--"
RT, eagerly: YES! That's me!]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030722 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030722 Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:17:50 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030722">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> [[ "Ask a Suburban Tribe Cast Member" time once again! This time around we have Alan and Tiff demonstrating what lengths Suburban Tribe will go to keep their readership satisfied. ]] Alan: Hi Everybody! I'm Alan, and this is TIffany. It's our turn to address one lucky reader's e-mail. Alan: This one is from wanglord@earthlink.net who says, "I like the comic, but it needs more action." [[ Alan lifts his hand to illicit a fake cough ]] Alan: Cough! Say Tiff ... maybe you should lay off he frappucinos. Your ass is looking a little tight in those jeans. [[ Tiffany gets a shocked look on her face ]] [[ Tiffany whips around to face Alan holding a semi-automatic pistol ]] << BLAM! BLAM! >> [[ shooting Alan and sending him to the ground in a heap ]] [[ Tiffany turns to smile at the audience, while Alan, surprisingly, gets back up, his shirt ripped open revealing a bulletproof vest ]] Tiffany: We aim to please, Wang. Alan: I want a pay raise. {{ title text: Wholesome Family Entertainment! (Don't try this at home) }} s u b u r b a n t r i b e

[[ "Ask a Suburban Tribe Cast Member" time once again! This time around we have Alan and Tiff demonstrating what lengths Suburban Tribe will go to keep their readership satisfied. ]]
Alan: Hi Everybody! I'm Alan, and this is TIffany. It's our turn to address one lucky reader's e-mail.
Alan: This one is from wanglord@earthlink.net who says, "I like the comic, but it needs more action."

[[ Alan lifts his hand to illicit a fake cough ]]
Alan: Cough! Say Tiff ... maybe you should lay off he frappucinos. Your ass is looking a little tight in those jeans.
[[ Tiffany gets a shocked look on her face ]]

[[ Tiffany whips around to face Alan holding a semi-automatic pistol ]]
<< BLAM! BLAM! >>
[[ shooting Alan and sending him to the ground in a heap ]]

[[ Tiffany turns to smile at the audience, while Alan, surprisingly, gets back up, his shirt ripped open revealing a bulletproof vest ]]
Tiffany: We aim to please, Wang.
Alan: I want a pay raise.

{{ title text: Wholesome Family Entertainment! (Don't try this at home) }}]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030723 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030723 Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:17:45 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030723">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> [[ "Ask a Suburban Tribe cast member!" week continues! Now it's Carol's turn ]] Carol: Hi Everybody! I'm Carol Bradley, and it's my turn to answer a lucky reader's question! Let's see... [[ Carol pauses to begin reading ]] Carol: Darthshatner@aol.com asks "Is there any way I can get a nude picture of Carol? She is the hottest redhead this side of Jean Grey." [[ Carol just rolls her eyes and throws the email away, though as she begins her tirade about comic book dorks her shirt has already been removed, seemingly without her noticing ]] Carol: Fffftt! Gee, what a shocker. Another comic book futz wants to see Carol's girls. Well, news flash "Darth:" John has a little more class than that. [[ Carol continues her scolding of "Darth" though now it seems even her frilly bra has gone AWOL, with a big black bar reading "CENSORED" over her "girls" ]] Carol: Like this is one of those "Looney Tunes" where the giant eraser comes in and wipes my clothes off, right? Carol: Bunch of perverts! Try finding a real girl [[ Carol turns and begins to walk away but turns to give one last shot before she does so, a strategically placed sign covering anything unfit for the obviously PG audience ]] Carol: Listen up, you bunch of sex-starved trekkies! If it's that kind of thrill you're after, head over to "Liberty Meadows!" John wouldn't exploit me for all the tea in France! [[ Sign states: "For an uncensored version of this strip send $5 via PayPal to johnlee@suburbantribe.net" ]] {{ title text: John Lee sells out! You read it here first! }} s u b u r b a n t r i b e

[[ "Ask a Suburban Tribe cast member!" week continues! Now it's Carol's turn ]]
Carol: Hi Everybody! I'm Carol Bradley, and it's my turn to answer a lucky reader's question! Let's see...
[[ Carol pauses to begin reading ]]
Carol: Darthshatner@aol.com asks "Is there any way I can get a nude picture of Carol? She is the hottest redhead this side of Jean Grey."

[[ Carol just rolls her eyes and throws the email away, though as she begins her tirade about comic book dorks her shirt has already been removed, seemingly without her noticing ]]
Carol: Fffftt! Gee, what a shocker. Another comic book futz wants to see Carol's girls. Well, news flash "Darth:" John has a little more class than that.

[[ Carol continues her scolding of "Darth" though now it seems even her frilly bra has gone AWOL, with a big black bar reading "CENSORED" over her "girls" ]]
Carol: Like this is one of those "Looney Tunes" where the giant eraser comes in and wipes my clothes off, right?
Carol: Bunch of perverts! Try finding a real girl

[[ Carol turns and begins to walk away but turns to give one last shot before she does so, a strategically placed sign covering anything unfit for the obviously PG audience ]]
Carol: Listen up, you bunch of sex-starved trekkies! If it's that kind of thrill you're after, head over to "Liberty Meadows!" John wouldn't exploit me for all the tea in France!
[[ Sign states: "For an uncensored version of this strip send $5 via PayPal to johnlee@suburbantribe.net" ]]

{{ title text: John Lee sells out! You read it here first! }}]]> s u b u r b a n t r i b e http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030606 http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030606 Mon, 19 Feb 2007 20:17:35 -0000 <a href="http://suburbantribe.net/showArchive.asp?archive=20030606">s u b u r b a n t r i b e</a> [[ We come in at Alan and Dave's apartment where Alan is just heading out the door while Dave and Alan's nephew sit watching TV on the couch. ]] Alan: Dave! That was Tiff on the phone. She needs me to come into the office for an hour or two. Watch my nephew will ya? And behave yourself, Dave! Keep the shenanigans at a "PG" level. Got me? [[ Dave rolls his eyes as Alan leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind him ]] <<SLAM!>> Dave: Geez! I hate it when he talks to me that way. Like I'm fifteen years old, or an abused housewife, or something. [[beat]] God! [[ Both Dave and the nephew pause for a moment, looking at each other waiting for the other to speak. ]] [[ Dave begins to reach for his pocket for some money, finally speaking up ]] Dave: You want to watch 'Sex and the City'? Nephew: I wanna ride my Big Wheel across the four lane highway and get a "Big Gulp". Dave: Oh, that's cool. Pick me up a soft pack of Marlboro Lights, will you? {{ Roommate Relationships: Symmetric or Symbiotic }} s u b u r b a n t r i b e

[[ We come in at Alan and Dave's apartment where Alan is just heading out the door while Dave and Alan's nephew sit watching TV on the couch. ]]
Alan: Dave! That was Tiff on the phone. She needs me to come into the office for an hour or two. Watch my nephew will ya? And behave yourself, Dave! Keep the shenanigans at a "PG" level. Got me?

[[ Dave rolls his eyes as Alan leaves the apartment, slamming the door behind him ]]
<>
Dave: Geez! I hate it when he talks to me that way. Like I'm fifteen years old, or an abused housewife, or something. [[beat]] God!

[[ Both Dave and the nephew pause for a moment, looking at each other waiting for the other to speak. ]]

[[ Dave begins to reach for his pocket for some money, finally speaking up ]]
Dave: You want to watch 'Sex and the City'?
Nephew: I wanna ride my Big Wheel across the four lane highway and get a "Big Gulp".
Dave: Oh, that's cool. Pick me up a soft pack of Marlboro Lights, will you?

{{ Roommate Relationships: Symmetric or Symbiotic }}]]>