Sore Thumbs - latest additions

Sore Thumbs - latest additions http://sorethumbsonline.com The latest transcribed Sore Thumbs comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:09:58 -0000 60 SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040908 http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040908.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040908.html Sat, 06 Dec 2008 04:31:10 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040908.html">SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040908</a> Miss Harmony: Hiya, trio! Can I help you with anything? It's her! Yo. Uhhhm, no thank you, we are just browsing. Thank you. Miss Harmony: Good, because I won't help anyone, ever! I was not offering you help, I was asking you a trivia question! And you answered wisely! That's so aweeessoommee. Did we win anything? No! Nothing! Not even something intangible! If I may be so bold, being in the same room as yourself is a very tangible reward, Miss Harmony. Indeed. Quite simply, we adore you, Miss Harmony. We are your #1 fans. We love you so much. Yo. Miss Harmony: I have... fans? How?! How so you know who I am? I've never seen you in the shop before! Speak up! Fairbanks Presents HarmonyCam.com, of course. You're the best webcam girl ever. You're so natural. Almost like you don't even know the webcam is there. Miss Harmony: Hmmm. I can't decide... kill Fairbanks? Or have extremely natural sex with Fairbanks on HarmonyCam.com? Maybe I should poll my fans first. SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040908

Miss Harmony: Hiya, trio! Can I help you with anything?
It's her!
Yo.
Uhhhm, no thank you, we are just browsing. Thank you.

Miss Harmony: Good, because I won't help anyone, ever! I was not offering you help, I was asking you a trivia question! And you answered wisely!
That's so aweeessoommee. Did we win anything?
No! Nothing! Not even something intangible!
If I may be so bold, being in the same room as yourself is a very tangible reward, Miss Harmony.

Indeed. Quite simply, we adore you, Miss Harmony.
We are your #1 fans. We love you so much.
Yo.

Miss Harmony: I have... fans? How?! How so you know who I am? I've never seen you in the shop before! Speak up!

Fairbanks Presents HarmonyCam.com, of course. You're the best webcam girl ever. You're so natural. Almost like you don't even know the webcam is there.
Miss Harmony: Hmmm. I can't decide... kill Fairbanks? Or have extremely natural sex with Fairbanks on HarmonyCam.com? Maybe I should poll my fans first.]]> SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040906 http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040906.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040906.html Thu, 04 Dec 2008 02:42:17 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040906.html">SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040906</a> Hello, old friends, hello! How's life in steerage? You just missed us dancing an Irish jig. She's kiddin'! I never realized working in retail could be so exciting! Fairbanks and I have learned to play our customers like violins! Phil Silvers ain't got nuthin' on us two! We're pretty much experts by now. That Rondel Mayflower IV won't know what hit him, I tells ya! Who the hell is Rondel Mayflower IV? The rich guy who's opening up a video game shop across the street from us! What? We've got competition and yet you're still on Cloud Nine? Darn tootin'! Cause Fairbanks found the revolutionary secret to selling things to people! I can assure you that he did not. Okay, he ripped off Miracle on 34th Street. But still! Who's Phil Silvers? Is this the part where she brings in bags of mail addressed to Rondel Mayflower IV in order to prove to the world that he really, truly does exist? SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040906

Hello, old friends, hello! How's life in steerage?
You just missed us dancing an Irish jig.
She's kiddin'!

I never realized working in retail could be so exciting!
Fairbanks and I have learned to play our customers like violins!
Phil Silvers ain't got nuthin' on us two!

We're pretty much experts by now.
That Rondel Mayflower IV won't know what hit him, I tells ya!
Who the hell is Rondel Mayflower IV?
The rich guy who's opening up a video game shop across the street from us!

What? We've got competition and yet you're still on Cloud Nine?

Darn tootin'! Cause Fairbanks found the revolutionary secret to selling things to people!
I can assure you that he did not.

Okay, he ripped off Miracle on 34th Street. But still!
Who's Phil Silvers?
Is this the part where she brings in bags of mail addressed to Rondel Mayflower IV in order to prove to the world that he really, truly does exist?]]> SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040823 http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040823.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040823.html Fri, 28 Nov 2008 08:15:11 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040823.html">SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040823</a> Greetings! I see you're playing a hearty game of Pokemon Colosseum! Yes, I'm a very hearty gamer. Gotta catch 'em all, right? Right? Am I right? Uh, right. Wouldn't you like to live in the Pokemon world? Um, I guess. Me too! Because you just know hat Pokemon are only the start. Those crazy Japanese scientists are gonna come up with Poke-women next! I would much enjoy whipping out my Pokeball and get warmed up by that electric Pikachick... What in God's name are you talking about?! Huh? I was just making small talk. I won't stand for that kind of talk in my presence, fella! I'm a Christian! So am I! I'm the world's greatest Christian! Jesus loves me more than all the others. Combined! My mother told me so! I'm going home to watch a VeggieTales and pray for your soul. SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040823

Greetings! I see you're playing a hearty game of Pokemon Colosseum!
Yes, I'm a very hearty gamer.
Gotta catch 'em all, right? Right? Am I right?

Uh, right.

Wouldn't you like to live in the Pokemon world?
Um, I guess.

Me too!
Because you just know hat Pokemon are only the start. Those crazy Japanese scientists are gonna come up with Poke-women next!
I would much enjoy whipping out my Pokeball and get warmed up by that electric Pikachick...

What in God's name are you talking about?!

Huh? I was just making small talk.
I won't stand for that kind of talk in my presence, fella! I'm a Christian!
So am I!

I'm the world's greatest Christian! Jesus loves me more than all the others.
Combined! My mother told me so!
I'm going home to watch a VeggieTales and pray for your soul.]]> SORE THUMBS Archive: 20081031 http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20081031.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20081031.html Wed, 05 Nov 2008 18:16:10 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20081031.html">SORE THUMBS Archive: 20081031</a> [[Fairbanks dressed up as Barack Obama standing in front of Jeff ]] Fairbanks: Don't fear Hallow's Eve, my flock! Your savior has arrived! It is I, Barack H. Obama! I'm actually a secret Muslim -- oops, ignore that! Jeff: I'm my favorite graphic novel character, Scott Pilgrim. Boo! Fear my precious little life. [[Cecania dressed up as Sarah Palin standing in front of Harmony]] Cecania: Happy Halloween, ya'll! It's me, past and future porn star Sarah Palin! If I don't win this election, I'ma gettin' Alaska to secede so I can serve as Queen! You betcha! Harmony: I'm Toph from Avatar: The Last Airbender, and I approve that message. [[Fairbanks pointing at Cecania, both of them yelling]] Fairbanks: LIAR! Sarah Palin never did porn! Cecania: Um, you're just going to ignore the secessionist thing? Fairbanks: Sarah Palin may be a secessionist, but she never did porn! I'm 100% sure of it! Retract that! Cecania: Prove it! Show me the Sarah Palin porn tape that doesn't exist! Until I don't see that non-existent tape with my own eyes, I will continue to believe she is a hardcore porn star! Fairbanks: WHAT?! YOU'RE MAKING EVEN LESS SENSE THAN USUAL! Cecania: F***! YOU'RE RIGHT! I JUST WANT THIS ELECTION TO BE OVER ALREADY! [[Harmony and Jeff in costume]] Harmony: Me too. Jeff: My life is like a video game. Only more Canadian. [[Coleman in costume waving in front of Jack-o-lanterns]] HAPPY THANKSGIVING! VOTE McCAIN/PALIN ON NOV 5TH SORE THUMBS Archive: 20081031

[[Fairbanks dressed up as Barack Obama standing in front of Jeff ]]
Fairbanks: Don't fear Hallow's Eve, my flock! Your savior has arrived! It is I, Barack H. Obama! I'm actually a secret Muslim -- oops, ignore that!
Jeff: I'm my favorite graphic novel character, Scott Pilgrim. Boo! Fear my precious little life.

[[Cecania dressed up as Sarah Palin standing in front of Harmony]]
Cecania: Happy Halloween, ya'll! It's me, past and future porn star Sarah Palin! If I don't win this election, I'ma gettin' Alaska to secede so I can serve as Queen! You betcha!
Harmony: I'm Toph from Avatar: The Last Airbender, and I approve that message.

[[Fairbanks pointing at Cecania, both of them yelling]]
Fairbanks: LIAR! Sarah Palin never did porn!
Cecania: Um, you're just going to ignore the secessionist thing?

Fairbanks: Sarah Palin may be a secessionist, but she never did porn! I'm 100% sure of it! Retract that!
Cecania: Prove it! Show me the Sarah Palin porn tape that doesn't exist! Until I don't see that non-existent tape with my own eyes, I will continue to believe she is a hardcore porn star!

Fairbanks: WHAT?! YOU'RE MAKING EVEN LESS SENSE THAN USUAL!
Cecania: F***! YOU'RE RIGHT! I JUST WANT THIS ELECTION TO BE OVER ALREADY!

[[Harmony and Jeff in costume]]
Harmony: Me too.
Jeff: My life is like a video game. Only more Canadian.

[[Coleman in costume waving in front of Jack-o-lanterns]]
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
VOTE McCAIN/PALIN ON NOV 5TH]]> SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040820 http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040820.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040820.html Fri, 10 Oct 2008 04:24:17 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040820.html">SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040820</a> Harmony: Hi, I'm Harmony! I work right here! Harmony: Do you need any help? I don't want to help you, but the angry man in the glasses behind me is forcing me. Kid: Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks anyway. Harmony: Gimme that box! Harmony: This is my fave game of all time! The NES version of Ikari Warriors! Kid: How could Ikari Warriors be your favorite game ever? Or anybody's? Kid: And how did you snatch that box from my hand so fast?! Harmony: The Ikari Warriors are a tribute to our brave warrior men fighting overseas! Kid: But weren't they vigilantes or terrorists or something? Harmony: Terrorists named Paul and Vince? Shut the hell up! Harmony: Oh, and this is the special "white box" variant edition worth over $500! Kid: Really? I'll buy it! Harmony: A B B A! Kid: Huh? The '70s pop group? Harmony: Infinite lives cheat code! Kid: I scared. SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040820

Harmony: Hi, I'm Harmony! I work right here!
Harmony: Do you need any help? I don't want to help you, but the angry man in the glasses behind me is forcing me.
Kid: Uh, no, I'm good. Thanks anyway.

Harmony: Gimme that box!

Harmony: This is my fave game of all time! The NES version of Ikari Warriors!
Kid: How could Ikari Warriors be your favorite game ever? Or anybody's?
Kid: And how did you snatch that box from my hand so fast?!

Harmony: The Ikari Warriors are a tribute to our brave warrior men fighting overseas!
Kid: But weren't they vigilantes or terrorists or something?
Harmony: Terrorists named Paul and Vince? Shut the hell up!

Harmony: Oh, and this is the special "white box" variant edition worth over $500!
Kid: Really? I'll buy it!

Harmony: A B B A!
Kid: Huh? The '70s pop group?
Harmony: Infinite lives cheat code!
Kid: I scared.]]> SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040818 http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040818.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040818.html Wed, 24 Sep 2008 00:48:08 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040818.html">SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040818</a> You hold in your hands a collectable beyond compare! The "white box" variant edition of Mike Tyson's Punch Out! Worth $250! I don't believe this is anything but a copy of the game that you placed inside a white box. Stay skeptic, brotha! If he had followed your sterling example, Mike Tyson himself might not have been framed for various crimes against humanity! Wait... you're saying Tyson didn't commit various crimes? Exactomundo, homeslice! He was framed by the corrupt racist cops, just like all good negros! You thought he really bit that guy's ear off? Um, yeah. I saw him do it. Live. On TV. That was CGI effects! Live CGI effects using sinister motion capture suits controlled by The Man! Tom Hanks played Tyson! This is the strangest conversation I've ever had, ever. If you are not delared clinically insane, the clinic is insane. Gee. Does that mean you're not purchasing that old video game for $250? If so, I've spent far too much of my valuable time trying to convince you that I'm a negro-lover so you'll like me and buy my stuff! Thank you for not biting my ear off. That was a kindness. SORE THUMBS Archive: 20040818

You hold in your hands a collectable beyond compare! The "white box" variant edition of Mike Tyson's Punch Out! Worth $250!

I don't believe this is anything but a copy of the game that you placed inside a white box.
Stay skeptic, brotha! If he had followed your sterling example, Mike Tyson himself might not have been framed for various crimes against humanity!

Wait... you're saying Tyson didn't commit various crimes?
Exactomundo, homeslice! He was framed by the corrupt racist cops, just like all good negros! You thought he really bit that guy's ear off?
Um, yeah. I saw him do it. Live. On TV.

That was CGI effects! Live CGI effects using sinister motion capture suits controlled by The Man! Tom Hanks played Tyson!

This is the strangest conversation I've ever had, ever. If you are not delared clinically insane, the clinic is insane. Gee.

Does that mean you're not purchasing that old video game for $250? If so, I've spent far too much of my valuable time trying to convince you that I'm a negro-lover so you'll like me and buy my stuff!
Thank you for not biting my ear off. That was a kindness.]]> SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040816.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040816.html Sat, 20 Sep 2008 05:56:39 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040816.html">SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby</a> <<CLICK>> Fairbanks: Welcome one and all to the funtastic world of Sore Thumbs! As Fairbanks, the owner and operator of this establishment, I say to you that Sore Thumbs in the one shop that can properly serve your video game and hot dog needs! Hot dogs coming soon. Without further introduction, shop away! Patron #1: This place is awesome! Much better than that soul-less corporate behemoth we usually get our games at! The owner himself greets us at the door, as opposed to a random old man who smells of beans and death. Patron #2: Leh. Patron #3: If their discounts aren't massive, soul-less corporate behemoth will still have my business. Though, I admit, the fur-covered midget outside screaming crazy stuff at us was cool. Patron #1: Expert customer service beats discounts any day. I bet this guy knows everything about games. Fairbanks: That I do, son! Patron #1: I'll put that to the test, then. Who created the character of "Mario", the heroic plumber who has appeared in dozens of hit Nintendo video games? Fairbanks: A gay man determined to convert kids to his perverted, tube-sliding lifestyle. Fairbanks: I'll stop him. This, I swear. Patron #1: Shigeru Miyamoto is gay?! I didn't know that! You really are an expert! Patron #2: I knew he was gay, totally. He plays a friggin' banjo. SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby

<>

Fairbanks: Welcome one and all to the funtastic world of Sore Thumbs!
As Fairbanks, the owner and operator of this establishment, I say to you that Sore Thumbs in the one shop that can properly serve your video game and hot dog needs!
Hot dogs coming soon.
Without further introduction, shop away!

Patron #1: This place is awesome! Much better than that soul-less corporate behemoth we usually get our games at!
The owner himself greets us at the door, as opposed to a random old man who smells of beans and death.
Patron #2: Leh.
Patron #3: If their discounts aren't massive, soul-less corporate behemoth will still have my business.
Though, I admit, the fur-covered midget outside screaming crazy stuff at us was cool.

Patron #1: Expert customer service beats discounts any day.
I bet this guy knows everything about games.
Fairbanks: That I do, son!

Patron #1: I'll put that to the test, then. Who created the character of "Mario", the heroic plumber who has appeared in dozens of hit Nintendo video games?

Fairbanks: A gay man determined to convert kids to his perverted, tube-sliding lifestyle.

Fairbanks: I'll stop him.
This, I swear.

Patron #1: Shigeru Miyamoto is gay?! I didn't know that! You really are an expert!
Patron #2: I knew he was gay, totally.
He plays a friggin' banjo.]]> SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040813.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040813.html Fri, 01 Aug 2008 23:05:17 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040813.html">SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby</a> Fairbanks: I'm making a breakfast treat for you, Harmony Fairbanks: It's a special recipe invented by my 18th century ancestor and namesake, Fairbanks the 1st. Fairbanks: Of course, in his days, it wasn't cooked in a microwave... Fairbanks:. ..and it used almost entirely different ingredients Fairbanks: Heroin is illeagal now. Fairbanks: My version uses hot dogs and crackers. Fairbanks: Presenting... Fairbanks: The Slave Reward Platter! Harmony: Ugh. Fairbanks: Fairbanks the 1st was a slave master, and offered this mouth-watering dish as a reward to slaves if they'd tattle on the bad slaves that talk about escape. Fairbanks: Genius Fairbanks: Go on, take a bite! Harmony:No! Harmony: I wasn't even going to touch that thing before you told its horrible origin story. Fairbanks: How about if I told you Fairbanks the 1st was killed in a massive slave uprising? Harmony: No. Fairbanks: Good. He died as an old man of 103 in his warm bed made of dead slaves. SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby

Fairbanks: I'm making a breakfast treat for you, Harmony
Fairbanks: It's a special recipe invented by my 18th century ancestor and namesake, Fairbanks the 1st.
Fairbanks: Of course, in his days, it wasn't cooked in a microwave...

Fairbanks:. ..and it used almost entirely different ingredients
Fairbanks: Heroin is illeagal now.
Fairbanks: My version uses hot dogs and crackers.

Fairbanks: Presenting...
Fairbanks: The Slave Reward Platter!

Harmony: Ugh.

Fairbanks: Fairbanks the 1st was a slave master, and offered this mouth-watering dish as a reward to slaves if they'd tattle on the bad slaves that talk about escape.
Fairbanks: Genius

Fairbanks: Go on, take a bite!
Harmony:No!
Harmony: I wasn't even going to touch that thing before you told its horrible origin story.
Fairbanks: How about if I told you Fairbanks the 1st was killed in a massive slave uprising?
Harmony: No.
Fairbanks: Good. He died as an old man of 103 in his warm bed made of dead slaves.]]> SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040811.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040811.html Fri, 01 Aug 2008 23:05:09 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040811.html">SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby</a> So... it's Day One of the revolution. Yeah. Fairbanks is sweating so profusely that he's starting to stink. That can't be good. I wonder what kinda customers we're gonna attract. Maybe a real big fun bunch o' characters, huh? They couldn't be any funner than the character I met yesterday. The one named you. Thanks but even I know there ain't no word as funner. Hair isn't supposed to pink, either! I break the rules in every possible way! You sure do, ma'am. You sure do. Fairbanks, stop screaming! Were trying to have a cute conversation over here! I'm going to change my name to Funner. Sawyer Funner. Im tryin' way too hard to be cute now. This sort of ting should really be much easier for a fella who's got no private parts to speak of. SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby

So... it's Day One of the revolution.
Yeah. Fairbanks is sweating so profusely that he's starting to stink.

That can't be good. I wonder what kinda customers we're gonna attract. Maybe a real big fun bunch o' characters, huh?

They couldn't be any funner than the character I met yesterday. The one named you.

Thanks but even I know there ain't no word as funner.
Hair isn't supposed to pink, either! I break the rules in every possible way!

You sure do, ma'am. You sure do.
Fairbanks, stop screaming! Were trying to have a cute conversation over here!

I'm going to change my name to Funner. Sawyer Funner.
Im tryin' way too hard to be cute now. This sort of ting should really be much easier for a fella who's got no private parts to speak of.]]> SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040901.html http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040901.html Wed, 09 Jul 2008 04:03:50 -0000 <a href="http://sorethumbsonline.com/d/20040901.html">SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby</a> Fairbanks: We do not have this game in stock that I am holding right now. I think another shop has it. Go there now. Customer: Uh...huh? Fairbanks: You heard me, sir. Customer: But...how can that game not be in stock? You're holding it. I can see you holding it in your hands. Customer: It's real, but...it's not real? It's all an illusion? I think I'm holding it, but am I? Am I really holding this box?! It's just like in the only good Matrix film! There is no spoon! And there is no box! Or is there? Fairbanks: I kindly suggest you take your business elsewhere, sir. That game is not in stock right now. Merry Christmas. Customer: Dude, I'll pay you anything you want for this ga-- Fairbanks: $500. Customer: Uh...okay. Customer: Is it real? Am I holding it? Am I real? Am I Keanu Reeves? Is it Christmastime? Am I Keanu Reeves while celebrating the holidays? Faribanks: Rondel Mayflower IV, you have met your match, and he is out of your league! SORE THUMBS * Mon-Wed-Fri * Insane Political Gaming Manga-Type Comics by Owen Gieni and Chris Crosby

Fairbanks: We do not have this game in stock that I am holding right now. I think another shop has it. Go there now.
Customer: Uh...huh?

Fairbanks: You heard me, sir.
Customer: But...how can that game not be in stock? You're holding it. I can see you holding it in your hands.

Customer: It's real, but...it's not real? It's all an illusion? I think I'm holding it, but am I? Am I really holding this box?! It's just like in the only good Matrix film! There is no spoon! And there is no box! Or is there?

Fairbanks: I kindly suggest you take your business elsewhere, sir. That game is not in stock right now. Merry Christmas.

Customer: Dude, I'll pay you anything you want for this ga--
Fairbanks: $500.
Customer: Uh...okay.

Customer: Is it real? Am I holding it? Am I real? Am I Keanu Reeves? Is it Christmastime? Am I Keanu Reeves while celebrating the holidays?
Faribanks: Rondel Mayflower IV, you have met your match, and he is out of your league!]]>