http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php The latest transcribed The Adventures of Brigadier General John Stark comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:09:59 -0000 60 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8980 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8980 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:52 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=8980">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8980</a><br> <br> I also played a key role in Prescott's retreat at the Battle of Bunker Hill. <br \> <br \> Prescott's men fought without discipline, depleting their ammunition and forcing their retreat, while Colonel Enoch Poor refused to even engage the British, leaving Prescott to die. <br \> My men fought with discipline and deximated the British who tried to flank Prescott, with a few losses of our own. <br \> <br \> As a result, Enoch Poor was promoted, William Prescott was made a legend, and I was sent back to New Hampshire. <br \> <br \> {Pause} <br \> <br \> It's really a wonder Elizabeth II's face isn't on the one dollar bill. webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8980

I also played a key role in Prescott's retreat at the Battle of Bunker Hill.

Prescott's men fought without discipline, depleting their ammunition and forcing their retreat, while Colonel Enoch Poor refused to even engage the British, leaving Prescott to die.
My men fought with discipline and deximated the British who tried to flank Prescott, with a few losses of our own.

As a result, Enoch Poor was promoted, William Prescott was made a legend, and I was sent back to New Hampshire.

{Pause}

It's really a wonder Elizabeth II's face isn't on the one dollar bill.]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8977 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8977 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:49 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=8977">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8977</a><br> <br> In addition to adopting my phrase as the State Motto, New Hampshire named Fort Stark and a prominent secondary school after me. <br \> <br \> Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Mississippi and New York all named towns or counties after me, in honor of the Battle of Bennington. <br \> <br \> Vermont, where the Battle of Bennington was actually fought, named a State Park After my wife instead. <br \> <br \> {Pause} <br \> <br \> I'm pretty sure the bitch was sleeping with Ethan Allen. webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8977

In addition to adopting my phrase as the State Motto, New Hampshire named Fort Stark and a prominent secondary school after me.

Illinois, Ohio, Indiana, Mississippi and New York all named towns or counties after me, in honor of the Battle of Bennington.

Vermont, where the Battle of Bennington was actually fought, named a State Park After my wife instead.

{Pause}

I'm pretty sure the bitch was sleeping with Ethan Allen.]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8976 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8976 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:49 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=8976">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8976</a><br> <br> Before his legendary act of treason, Benedict Arnold was the most popular war hero among the populace and the troops. <br \> <br \> He was despised by many of the top ranking officers of the Continental Army and a frequent target of many of the pettier members of the Continental Congress, though Washington adored him. <br \> <br \> He was inclined to bitterness because of his enemies, but it was only after he went into tremendous debt in courting and marrying Peggy Shippen -- herself a Tory -- that he found himself willing to sell out his honor and command to the British. <br \> His betrayal shocked the Nation and made his name synonymous with the blackest of treasons. <br \> <br \> On the other hand, I've seen Peggy Shippen. <br \> Frankly, I'd sell out three or four countries to get a little taste of that. I mean, damn! webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8976

Before his legendary act of treason, Benedict Arnold was the most popular war hero among the populace and the troops.

He was despised by many of the top ranking officers of the Continental Army and a frequent target of many of the pettier members of the Continental Congress, though Washington adored him.

He was inclined to bitterness because of his enemies, but it was only after he went into tremendous debt in courting and marrying Peggy Shippen -- herself a Tory -- that he found himself willing to sell out his honor and command to the British.
His betrayal shocked the Nation and made his name synonymous with the blackest of treasons.

On the other hand, I've seen Peggy Shippen.
Frankly, I'd sell out three or four countries to get a little taste of that. I mean, damn!]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8754 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=8754 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:48 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=8754">The Adventures of Brigadier General John Stark</a><br> <br> The Battle of Bennington was a critical victory for American Independence. <br \> <br \> Without Bennington, the British would have been able to resupply at Saratoga, winning that battle. <br \> <br \> Without Saratoga, France would not have allied with us. <br \> <br \> Without France, we would have lost the Revolution. <br \> <br \> Of course, that's a bit long for U.S. History textbooks. <br \> They throw in the bit about Washington's wooden teeth, though. The Adventures of Brigadier General John Stark

The Battle of Bennington was a critical victory for American Independence.

Without Bennington, the British would have been able to resupply at Saratoga, winning that battle.

Without Saratoga, France would not have allied with us.

Without France, we would have lost the Revolution.

Of course, that's a bit long for U.S. History textbooks.
They throw in the bit about Washington's wooden teeth, though.]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=39429 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=39429 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:47 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=39429">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=39429</a><br> <br> It is Sunday, and as we all know, that means it's time for the Literary Term of the Week. <br \> <br \> Today's term is exordium. It comes to us from rhetoric, and it refers to thee introduction of an oration, where several goals were supposed to be accomplished. According to tradition, the exordium was the venue for an orator to prepare an audience to agree with him, to lay out the foundations of his thesis, highlight his credentials and (when possible) disparage the credentials of any debate opponents. <br \> <br \> You find the modern uses of exordium throughout our culture -- from the Preamble to Ron Popeil convincing us there is a need for in-shell egg scramblers. From politicians wanting to be the next Kennedy to freestyle rappers exalting themselves and dissing the competition, exordium continues to have rhetorical merit. <br \> <br \> [[Silent Beat]] <br \> <br \> "Gosh, Lois! Lex Luthor has exposed Public Defender to exordium! It's stripping him of all his strange rhetorical powers!" webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=39429

It is Sunday, and as we all know, that means it's time for the Literary Term of the Week.

Today's term is exordium. It comes to us from rhetoric, and it refers to thee introduction of an oration, where several goals were supposed to be accomplished. According to tradition, the exordium was the venue for an orator to prepare an audience to agree with him, to lay out the foundations of his thesis, highlight his credentials and (when possible) disparage the credentials of any debate opponents.

You find the modern uses of exordium throughout our culture -- from the Preamble to Ron Popeil convincing us there is a need for in-shell egg scramblers. From politicians wanting to be the next Kennedy to freestyle rappers exalting themselves and dissing the competition, exordium continues to have rhetorical merit.

[[Silent Beat]]

"Gosh, Lois! Lex Luthor has exposed Public Defender to exordium! It's stripping him of all his strange rhetorical powers!"]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14232 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14232 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:46 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=14232">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14232</a><br> <br> I had some connection to all the doings we've been discussing this week, of course. <br \> <br \> I knew Benedict Arnold for years. I fought beside him. I had a lot of respect for him as a commander and patriot. <br \> And as for John André -- I was one of the men who tried him. I was one of those who decided that as much as we might like or respect the man, the law said he was to die -- to be hanged, even. And I did my duty. <br \> <br \> In the end, the entire affair makes me sad. It was a craven act, beneath the honorable men and soldiers who had proven themselves many times over. There were honorable ways for Arnold to redress his complaints. <br \> Indeed -- when I was confronted with the same venality and favoritism that Arnold was, I simply walked away. And in so doing, I expressed my disgust but also maintained my honor. And when New Hampshire -- and the country -- needed me, I could march once more, my head up high. <br \> <br \> Of course I'd have sold the British the whole of Vermont for one night with Peggy Shippen. Guh. webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14232

I had some connection to all the doings we've been discussing this week, of course.

I knew Benedict Arnold for years. I fought beside him. I had a lot of respect for him as a commander and patriot.
And as for John André -- I was one of the men who tried him. I was one of those who decided that as much as we might like or respect the man, the law said he was to die -- to be hanged, even. And I did my duty.

In the end, the entire affair makes me sad. It was a craven act, beneath the honorable men and soldiers who had proven themselves many times over. There were honorable ways for Arnold to redress his complaints.
Indeed -- when I was confronted with the same venality and favoritism that Arnold was, I simply walked away. And in so doing, I expressed my disgust but also maintained my honor. And when New Hampshire -- and the country -- needed me, I could march once more, my head up high.

Of course I'd have sold the British the whole of Vermont for one night with Peggy Shippen. Guh.]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14231 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14231 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:46 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=14231">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14231</a><br> <br> The plans of André, Shippen and Arnold had, of course, a figure behind the scenes. Sir Henry Clinton, the Commander in Chief of the British Forces in America, sat behind it all. <br \> <br \> Clinton was something of a machiavellian figure -- a spymaster and chess player who sought not only to defeat the Americans in the field but to sow discontent between them, it was all the more interesting that he was not British by birth. <br \> No, Clinton was Canadian, from Newfoundland, and largely raised in New York. He could best be described as a Tory Loyalist, instead of a British Soldier. <br \> <br \> After the collapse of his West Point plot and the defeat of his second in command, Lord Cornwallis, at Yorktown, he was relieved of his command. Somewhat unfairly, he was blamed for many years for the loss of the American Colonies. Still, he managed to be reelected to a seat in Parliament, secured a promotion to full General, and was named the Royal Governor of Gibraltar before his death. <br \> The Americans tried to trade him John André for Arnold, but though he esteemed André more highly, he refused the parlay. And though he never trusted Arnold, he did intercede on his behalf both during and after the war. <br \> <br \> He was the field commander at the Battle of Bunker Hill, where he faced me in battle directly. <br \> In the British "victory," Clinton lost one thousand and fifty nine men, to our losses of four hundred and fifty. He went on to say that any more "victories" like that, and the British wouldn't be able to keep troops in American any longer. <br \> <br \> And, now that I think about it... they can't. webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14231

The plans of André, Shippen and Arnold had, of course, a figure behind the scenes. Sir Henry Clinton, the Commander in Chief of the British Forces in America, sat behind it all.

Clinton was something of a machiavellian figure -- a spymaster and chess player who sought not only to defeat the Americans in the field but to sow discontent between them, it was all the more interesting that he was not British by birth.
No, Clinton was Canadian, from Newfoundland, and largely raised in New York. He could best be described as a Tory Loyalist, instead of a British Soldier.

After the collapse of his West Point plot and the defeat of his second in command, Lord Cornwallis, at Yorktown, he was relieved of his command. Somewhat unfairly, he was blamed for many years for the loss of the American Colonies. Still, he managed to be reelected to a seat in Parliament, secured a promotion to full General, and was named the Royal Governor of Gibraltar before his death.
The Americans tried to trade him John André for Arnold, but though he esteemed André more highly, he refused the parlay. And though he never trusted Arnold, he did intercede on his behalf both during and after the war.

He was the field commander at the Battle of Bunker Hill, where he faced me in battle directly.
In the British "victory," Clinton lost one thousand and fifty nine men, to our losses of four hundred and fifty. He went on to say that any more "victories" like that, and the British wouldn't be able to keep troops in American any longer.

And, now that I think about it... they can't.]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14230 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14230 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:45 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=14230">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14230</a><br> <br> And what of Peggy Shippen, who was the common link between Major John André and Benedict Arnold? <br \> <br \> Shippen was young and boisterous, outgoing and popular, despite her Loyalist tendencies. When she was recruited by Sir Henry Clinton, she no doubt saw it all as a romantic adventure. <br \> That adventure ended with the capture and execution of André, the escape of her husband Arnold, and the vilification of the entire episode as one of the blackest in American history. Rightly or wrongly, she was exonerated of any complicity in the sordid affair. <br \> <br \> She remained loyal to Arnold, traveling with him to Canada and Britain, and accepting the reversal of fortunes from the life of leisure that once she knew. <br \> Interestingly enough, Shippen is the only one of the conspiracy to return to America after the war. In 1784, she returned to America to care for her sick and elderly parents, remaining for two years and then returning to Britain. <br \> <br \> You may wonder why it is she had no problems returning to a country she helped betray. For that matter, what enabled her to be exonerated given her obvious partisanship and apparent complicity? <br \> <br \> One word: Boobies. <br \> If Benedict Arnold had her breasts, they'd have to put up statutes to him. webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14230

And what of Peggy Shippen, who was the common link between Major John André and Benedict Arnold?

Shippen was young and boisterous, outgoing and popular, despite her Loyalist tendencies. When she was recruited by Sir Henry Clinton, she no doubt saw it all as a romantic adventure.
That adventure ended with the capture and execution of André, the escape of her husband Arnold, and the vilification of the entire episode as one of the blackest in American history. Rightly or wrongly, she was exonerated of any complicity in the sordid affair.

She remained loyal to Arnold, traveling with him to Canada and Britain, and accepting the reversal of fortunes from the life of leisure that once she knew.
Interestingly enough, Shippen is the only one of the conspiracy to return to America after the war. In 1784, she returned to America to care for her sick and elderly parents, remaining for two years and then returning to Britain.

You may wonder why it is she had no problems returning to a country she helped betray. For that matter, what enabled her to be exonerated given her obvious partisanship and apparent complicity?

One word: Boobies.
If Benedict Arnold had her breasts, they'd have to put up statutes to him.]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14229 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14229 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:42 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=14229">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14229</a><br> <br> With all this discussion of the trial, execution and later commemoration of Major John André, one must wonder how England and America treated and remembered his co-conspirator, Benedict Arnold. <br \> <br \> Arnold managed to escape capture, of course, and was taken aboard the British warship H.M.S. Vulture. He had been promised twenty thousand pounds sterling to betray West Point, but as the plot failed, they only gave him eight thousand pounds sterling. The British didn't trust him, but made him a Brigadier General and sent him in to conduct raids against the Americans. They felt his presence would be distracting to the American war efforts, and saw that as the only use they could make of the man. <br \> <br \> After the war, Arnold tried both to make a living in Canada and Britain, and to secure a command. However, he failed at both, due to the cold reception he received in most polite company. <br \> In America, Arnold's name became synonymous with treason. If the Founding Fathers were America's saints, Arnold had become the devil. <br \> In 1801, he died a pauper, laid to rest in the uniform of an Army he had betrayed, noted by few and despised by almost all who knew of him. <br \> <br \> But he got to have sex with Peggy Shippen almost every day of his life, so don't feel too badly for him. webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14229

With all this discussion of the trial, execution and later commemoration of Major John André, one must wonder how England and America treated and remembered his co-conspirator, Benedict Arnold.

Arnold managed to escape capture, of course, and was taken aboard the British warship H.M.S. Vulture. He had been promised twenty thousand pounds sterling to betray West Point, but as the plot failed, they only gave him eight thousand pounds sterling. The British didn't trust him, but made him a Brigadier General and sent him in to conduct raids against the Americans. They felt his presence would be distracting to the American war efforts, and saw that as the only use they could make of the man.

After the war, Arnold tried both to make a living in Canada and Britain, and to secure a command. However, he failed at both, due to the cold reception he received in most polite company.
In America, Arnold's name became synonymous with treason. If the Founding Fathers were America's saints, Arnold had become the devil.
In 1801, he died a pauper, laid to rest in the uniform of an Army he had betrayed, noted by few and despised by almost all who knew of him.

But he got to have sex with Peggy Shippen almost every day of his life, so don't feel too badly for him.]]> http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14228 http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14228 Thu, 24 Aug 2006 06:47:39 -0000 <a href="http://webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&amp;ID=14228">webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14228</a><br> <br> Major John André was buried under the gallows he was hanged on. <br \> <br \> The British, however, never forgot the kind-hearted and soft-spoken Major, and in 1826 successfully petitioned to have his remains returned to Britain. <br \> Once sent over, he was interred under a beautiful marble monument as part of Westminster Abbey, in Hero's Corner, among kings and poets. <br \> <br \> Not to be outdone, the Americans raised up a respectful monument to John André at the place where he had been executed, quoting both poetry and a line from George Washington -- "He was more unfortunate than a criminal." <br \> A second monument -- this one to André's capture -- marks the place he was taken by the Americans. It too is respectful to a gallant foe. <br \> <br \> All this must piss Benedict Arnold the hell off. webcomicsnation.com/ericburns/stark/series.php?view=single&ID=14228

Major John André was buried under the gallows he was hanged on.

The British, however, never forgot the kind-hearted and soft-spoken Major, and in 1826 successfully petitioned to have his remains returned to Britain.
Once sent over, he was interred under a beautiful marble monument as part of Westminster Abbey, in Hero's Corner, among kings and poets.

Not to be outdone, the Americans raised up a respectful monument to John André at the place where he had been executed, quoting both poetry and a line from George Washington -- "He was more unfortunate than a criminal."
A second monument -- this one to André's capture -- marks the place he was taken by the Americans. It too is respectful to a gallant foe.

All this must piss Benedict Arnold the hell off.]]>