http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance The latest transcribed Lance and Eskimo comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:12:21 -0000 60 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=93 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=93 Sat, 29 Sep 2007 13:55:21 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=93">Mandrake: The Fight Sequence</a><br> <br> [[Krys leans out the window and grabs onto the car roof, where a ninja is standing.]] <br \> [[The ninja steps on Krys' fingers, and she cringes.]] <br \> [[The ninja kicks Krys in the chest and she falls back.]] <br \> [[Krys regains her grip on the roof's edge, and she flips over backward to kick the ninja down.]] <br \> [[Krys lands on the roof, pulling one ninja up by the top of his head and elbowing the other in the chin. The secretary peeks out the window, and Mandrake's voice is heard from inside the car.]] Mandrake: Phil, is your mind on the Teasdale account? Mandrake: The Fight Sequence

[[Krys leans out the window and grabs onto the car roof, where a ninja is standing.]]
[[The ninja steps on Krys' fingers, and she cringes.]]
[[The ninja kicks Krys in the chest and she falls back.]]
[[Krys regains her grip on the roof's edge, and she flips over backward to kick the ninja down.]]
[[Krys lands on the roof, pulling one ninja up by the top of his head and elbowing the other in the chin. The secretary peeks out the window, and Mandrake's voice is heard from inside the car.]] Mandrake: Phil, is your mind on the Teasdale account?]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=92 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=92 Fri, 28 Sep 2007 12:36:02 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=92">The No-Show</a><br> <br> [[An audience is gathered in the tent, and Bob runs out into the ring while Eskimo waits offstage.]] Announcer: Please welcome our fearless rat trainer, Bob! <br \> [[Eskimo looks stern and determined.]] Announcer: Our fearless lion tamer, Eskimo Jones! <br \> [[Eskimo runs joyfully into the ring as the audience claps.]] <br \> [[Eskimo strikes a pose and gestures to the lion's pedestal... which is empty.]] <br \> [[Eskimo looks puzzled.]] <br \> [[Eskimo makes a fist and glares.]] Eskimo: JULIAN! The No-Show

[[An audience is gathered in the tent, and Bob runs out into the ring while Eskimo waits offstage.]] Announcer: Please welcome our fearless rat trainer, Bob!
[[Eskimo looks stern and determined.]] Announcer: Our fearless lion tamer, Eskimo Jones!
[[Eskimo runs joyfully into the ring as the audience claps.]]
[[Eskimo strikes a pose and gestures to the lion's pedestal... which is empty.]]
[[Eskimo looks puzzled.]]
[[Eskimo makes a fist and glares.]] Eskimo: JULIAN!]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=91 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=91 Tue, 25 Sep 2007 14:09:08 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=91">Dress for Success</a><br> <br> Kyra: I finally finished Lance's costume. It'll be good to get him out of those old clothes. / Eskimo: What's wrong with them? / Kyra: The jacket, the boots... they made him look like a middle aged biker. / Eskimo: He's not one, though. / Kyra: Here he is! <br \> [[Lance is wearing an outfit made up of a low-cut vest top that exposes his chest and arms, and a speedo-style bottom with a star belt buckle. His tall boots are pointed at the knees, and he's still wearing his signature sunglasses. The outfit puzzles Eskimo.]] Kyra: Well? / Eskimo: He looks like a stripper magician! / Kyra: He's not one, though. / Lance: Maybe someday... Dress for Success

Kyra: I finally finished Lance's costume. It'll be good to get him out of those old clothes. / Eskimo: What's wrong with them? / Kyra: The jacket, the boots... they made him look like a middle aged biker. / Eskimo: He's not one, though. / Kyra: Here he is!
[[Lance is wearing an outfit made up of a low-cut vest top that exposes his chest and arms, and a speedo-style bottom with a star belt buckle. His tall boots are pointed at the knees, and he's still wearing his signature sunglasses. The outfit puzzles Eskimo.]] Kyra: Well? / Eskimo: He looks like a stripper magician! / Kyra: He's not one, though. / Lance: Maybe someday...]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=90 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=90 Sat, 22 Sep 2007 13:04:19 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=90">Mandrake: The Attack</a><br> <br> [[Mandrake, Krys and the Secretary are riding in the limo.]] <<THUMP>> / Secretary: What was that! / Mandrake: Corporate ninja! I knew they would be after my trade secrets! <br \> [[Krys reaches an arm out the window.]] Krys: Now is my time to shine! / Secretary: Wait, Krys! Do you know how to fight ninjas? / Krys: Honey... <br \> [[Krys reaches both arms out the window, as if preparing to jump onto the roof.]] Krys: I'm a pirate. Mandrake: The Attack

[[Mandrake, Krys and the Secretary are riding in the limo.]] <> / Secretary: What was that! / Mandrake: Corporate ninja! I knew they would be after my trade secrets!
[[Krys reaches an arm out the window.]] Krys: Now is my time to shine! / Secretary: Wait, Krys! Do you know how to fight ninjas? / Krys: Honey...
[[Krys reaches both arms out the window, as if preparing to jump onto the roof.]] Krys: I'm a pirate.]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=89 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=89 Fri, 21 Sep 2007 14:16:59 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=89">My Dinner With Eskimo</a><br> <br> [[Bob, Lance, and Eskimo are hanging around outside.]] Bob: So, you want to know more about Michelle? / Lance: She's the one with the elephant? / Bob: Yes, Lance, that is Michelle. Michelle is like chablis. A sassy explosion of taste that-- / Eskimo: You already used chablis. / Bob: Okay, fine. Michelle is like a young chardonnay -- all brashness and life and vigor -- with not a hint of pretentiousness -- evoking the fresh scent of a field of dewy violets. / Lance: Did you ever see the play, "The Violets are Blue"? Because what you just said reminds me of that. <br \> [[Lance leans his head on his hand casually.]] Lance: It's about people being strangled on a submarine. <br \> [[Lance smiles beatifically while Bob and Eskimo stare at him in confusion.]] My Dinner With Eskimo

[[Bob, Lance, and Eskimo are hanging around outside.]] Bob: So, you want to know more about Michelle? / Lance: She's the one with the elephant? / Bob: Yes, Lance, that is Michelle. Michelle is like chablis. A sassy explosion of taste that-- / Eskimo: You already used chablis. / Bob: Okay, fine. Michelle is like a young chardonnay -- all brashness and life and vigor -- with not a hint of pretentiousness -- evoking the fresh scent of a field of dewy violets. / Lance: Did you ever see the play, "The Violets are Blue"? Because what you just said reminds me of that.
[[Lance leans his head on his hand casually.]] Lance: It's about people being strangled on a submarine.
[[Lance smiles beatifically while Bob and Eskimo stare at him in confusion.]]]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=88 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=88 Tue, 18 Sep 2007 14:21:40 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=88">Bad With Names</a><br> <br> [[Eskimo covers her face with her hand, while Lance grins triumphantly.]] Bob: Hey guys. Ready for the big show tomorrow? / Eskimo: Don't ask. / Bob: How about you? You look pretty confident. / Lance: I've met the girl of my dreams! <br \> Bob: Oh yeah? What's her name? <br \> [[Lance looks uncertain.]] Lance: She rides an elephant. Bad With Names

[[Eskimo covers her face with her hand, while Lance grins triumphantly.]] Bob: Hey guys. Ready for the big show tomorrow? / Eskimo: Don't ask. / Bob: How about you? You look pretty confident. / Lance: I've met the girl of my dreams!
Bob: Oh yeah? What's her name?
[[Lance looks uncertain.]] Lance: She rides an elephant.]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=87 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=87 Sat, 15 Sep 2007 14:29:33 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=87">Mandrake: Boring</a><br> <br> [[Mandrake, Krys, and the secretary ride in the backseat of Mandrake's limo. Mandrake and the secretary compare notes on their PDAs while Krys stares out the window, bored.]] Secretary: Then at three o'clock, you've got the meeting with those FBI guys. / Mandrake: Right. We'll have to take care of some documents. Go to the storage facility... <br \> [[Krys' eyes begin to sparkle.]] Mandrake: PUNCH! <br \> [[Krys realizes she misunderstood, and sighs and slouches in her seat.]] Mandrake: in the access code. / Krys: Urgh... Tell me honestly, Mandrake... <br \> [[A sword-wielding ninja leaps onto the roof of the limo, unseen.]] Krys: Do you even need a bodyguard? Mandrake: Boring

[[Mandrake, Krys, and the secretary ride in the backseat of Mandrake's limo. Mandrake and the secretary compare notes on their PDAs while Krys stares out the window, bored.]] Secretary: Then at three o'clock, you've got the meeting with those FBI guys. / Mandrake: Right. We'll have to take care of some documents. Go to the storage facility...
[[Krys' eyes begin to sparkle.]] Mandrake: PUNCH!
[[Krys realizes she misunderstood, and sighs and slouches in her seat.]] Mandrake: in the access code. / Krys: Urgh... Tell me honestly, Mandrake...
[[A sword-wielding ninja leaps onto the roof of the limo, unseen.]] Krys: Do you even need a bodyguard?]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=86 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=86 Thu, 13 Sep 2007 15:41:16 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=86">Brainstorming Session</a><br> <br> Eskimo: So, what do lions fear most? / Lance: Death. Public speaking. <br \> [[Lance ponders.]] Lance: We could tell him he has to give a speech on the five stages of grief. / Eskimo: Do you have a gun license? <br \> [[Lance glares at Eskimo, who looks defensive.]] Eskimo: Just in case! Brainstorming Session

Eskimo: So, what do lions fear most? / Lance: Death. Public speaking.
[[Lance ponders.]] Lance: We could tell him he has to give a speech on the five stages of grief. / Eskimo: Do you have a gun license?
[[Lance glares at Eskimo, who looks defensive.]] Eskimo: Just in case!]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=85 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=85 Tue, 11 Sep 2007 16:10:43 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=85">Corporate Strategy II</a><br> <br> Eskimo: Lance, if I'm going to show this lion who's boss, I'll need your help. / Lance: Right. What's the plan? <br \> [[Eskimo punches the air.]] Eskimo: You hold him down, and I'll sock him one in the jaw! / Lance: Isn't that... you know... cruel? / Eskimo: No, Lance, it isn't. <br \> [[Eskimo has a pitiful expression.]] Eskimo: You don't understand... <br \> [[Eskimo grabs Lance pleadingly by the collar.]] Eskimo: That lion is an asshole!! Corporate Strategy II

Eskimo: Lance, if I'm going to show this lion who's boss, I'll need your help. / Lance: Right. What's the plan?
[[Eskimo punches the air.]] Eskimo: You hold him down, and I'll sock him one in the jaw! / Lance: Isn't that... you know... cruel? / Eskimo: No, Lance, it isn't.
[[Eskimo has a pitiful expression.]] Eskimo: You don't understand...
[[Eskimo grabs Lance pleadingly by the collar.]] Eskimo: That lion is an asshole!!]]> http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=84 http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=84 Thu, 06 Sep 2007 19:51:56 -0000 <a href="http://lanceandeskimo.com/lance/index.php?strip_id=84">Paradigm Shift</a><br> <br> [[Lance and the elephant rider are making out.]] <br \> [[Eskimo passes, gesturing for Lance to follow.]] <br \> [[Lance pulls away.]] <br \> [[Lance gets up and follows Eskimo away, to the elephant rider's confusion.]] Paradigm Shift

[[Lance and the elephant rider are making out.]]
[[Eskimo passes, gesturing for Lance to follow.]]
[[Lance pulls away.]]
[[Lance gets up and follows Eskimo away, to the elephant rider's confusion.]]]]>