Chain Bear - latest additions

Train Music

Train Music
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Sheila: Tsk! Typical incosiderate man! Music blaring so loud that I can't read my Pride and prejudice without setting it to the tune of the Chili Peppers.

Sheila: I wonder if it would be worth it if this whole train derailed and killed us all just to teach him a lesson.

Sheila: Crap. Got to stop saying things out loud.

Cousin Webster

Cousin Webster
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Ab: I love my cousin, Webster. He's the coolest guy in the whole wide world... seriously!

Ab: You wouldn't believe me if I told you how cool he was. Once he met Axl Rose and he told Webster that his hat was rad!

Ab: And once Webster was listening to the new Pearl Jam album and he totally guessed what some of the lyrics of track five would be before we listened!

Ab: I know, you don't believe me, right? Well, wait until you meet him. I can honestly say he is my one true hero... here he comes now!

Ab: Hi, Webster! Oh, hi, Abhinav. He look - sweet! Saw V is out next week!

(horror)

Easter Bunny

Easter Bunny
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Narrator: Oh, Easter Bunny. I wish it didn't have to come to this.

Wilson, the dog

Wilson, the dog
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Narrator: Okay so my sister-in-law has a dog. His name is Wilson, and he's really hard to draw cos he won't stop moving. But you get the idea.

Apolocalypse, 5th Floor

Apolocalypse, 5th Floor
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(Apocalypse)

Urinal Ettiquette

Urinal Ettiquette
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Pamphlet: Part 4 - Urinal Ettiquette

Now that you're a man, you will have to learn to use the public urinals like a man. This is not the time for showboating your 'manware', nor for making new friends.

There are a few important rules of acceptable behaviour when using these facilities.

Head Position

Acceptable Position 1 - into the basin

Acceptable Position 2 - directly at the wall

Unacceptable Position - at your neighbour's penis

Popular Urination Styles

Style 1 - the side swirl

Style 2 - the bullseye

Order of filling up urination positions

Start at the far end of sequence of urinals. If the end is occupied, use the opposite end, Continue to fill the positions by moving to the furthest gap from the next occupied urinal.

Do not occupy a urinal adjacent to an engaged urinal if there are further urinals available.

Drying Techniques

1 - the squeeze

Meeting Notes

Meeting Notes
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(notes from a meeting)

Change Your Perspective

Change Your Perspective
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Narrator: If you don't like the way the world works, change your perspective.

Narrator: If this doesn't work maybe do something about it

Lily Allen on Drugs

Lily Allen on Drugs
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Lily Allen: Hi There! It's me - Lily Allen. You might know me from my number 1 album, or my number 23 television show, 'Lily Allen and Friends'

Lily Allen: I want to teach you about the dangers of non-prescription drugs, my friends. These are hard times for hard drugs users.

Lily Allen: Do you want to end up like my friend, Iron Man? Perhaps not. Did you know Elton John once used hard drugs? Do you want to end up like Elton John?

Lily Allen: There are other highs, my friends. Moral highs, religulous highs, excitement highs, actually being up high (perhaps by being on a plane or even by riding a giraffe)

Winehouse: WIIIINEHOOUSE

Lile Allen: Sexual highs, Lincoln High school, Caroline Heiss...

Chain Bear endorses Ursanol

Chain Bear endorses Ursanol
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Chain Bear: Want to know how I keep my fur silky shiny and full of youth?

(Chain Bear heads a football into a golf club which punts a tennis ball over a net)

Chain Bear: It's simple - Ursanel

Chain Bear: Here's the Science...

SCIENCE