Back To School - latest additions

Back To School - latest additions http://btscomic.blogspot.com The latest transcribed Back To School comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us Mon, 20 Apr 2009 19:12:35 -0000 60 Back to School - Stephen Hawking http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/hawking.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/hawking.html Mon, 21 Apr 2008 02:09:05 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/hawking.html">Back to School - Stephen Hawking</a> Stephen Hawking: I can't believe I failed Black Holes 101. boy: Didn't you discover those things, Stephen Hawking? Hawking: Not exactly, but I am famous for combining Quantum Theory and General Relativity to come to important conclusions about them. boy: Oh yeah, I do that sometimes too. boy: Well couldn't you just reverse the quantum field polarity to triangulate the magnitude of the electromagnetic flux spectrometry in order to pass the class? Hawking: My god... What a brilliant idea! boy: Really? I just made all that crap up. Hawking: Sorry, my speech synthesizer doesn't have a sarcasm setting. boy: You're pretty uppity for someone who hasn't even won the Nobel Prize. Hawking: AUGH! THE ONE INSULT I CAN'T HANDLE Hawking: IT'S LIKE KRYPTONITE IN MY HEART Back to School - Stephen Hawking

Stephen Hawking: I can't believe I failed Black Holes 101.
boy: Didn't you discover those things, Stephen Hawking?

Hawking: Not exactly, but I am famous for combining Quantum Theory and General Relativity to come to important conclusions about them.
boy: Oh yeah, I do that sometimes too.

boy: Well couldn't you just reverse the quantum field polarity to triangulate the magnitude of the electromagnetic flux spectrometry in order to pass the class?
Hawking: My god... What a brilliant idea!

boy: Really? I just made all that crap up.
Hawking: Sorry, my speech synthesizer doesn't have a sarcasm setting.

boy: You're pretty uppity for someone who hasn't even won the Nobel Prize.
Hawking: AUGH! THE ONE INSULT I CAN'T HANDLE
Hawking: IT'S LIKE KRYPTONITE IN MY HEART]]> Back to School - Oda Nobunaga http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/nobunaga.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/nobunaga.html Tue, 15 Apr 2008 02:07:49 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/nobunaga.html">Back to School - Oda Nobunaga</a> Oda Nobunaga: I can't believe I failed Japanese History. girl: A lot has happened since your time, Oda Nobunaga. Nobunaga: Yes, and my dream of bringing all of Japan under one sword has never come true. girl: Uh... Actually, Japan is unified now. Nobunaga: Bah! I was never talking about unifying Japan. I literally wanted a giant sword hanging in the sky above the entire island. That would have been so awesome. girl: So why'd you go around ruthlessly killing anyone who stood between you and power? Nobunaga: Would you ask such stupid questions underneath a big-ass sky sword? girl: Um... No? Nobunaga: I think I just proved my point. girl: but... Nobunaga: Yeah, sky sword. Back to School - Oda Nobunaga

Oda Nobunaga: I can't believe I failed Japanese History.
girl: A lot has happened since your time, Oda Nobunaga.

Nobunaga: Yes, and my dream of bringing all of Japan under one sword has never come true.
girl: Uh... Actually, Japan is unified now.

Nobunaga: Bah! I was never talking about unifying Japan. I literally wanted a giant sword hanging in the sky above the entire island. That would have been so awesome.

girl: So why'd you go around ruthlessly killing anyone who stood between you and power?
Nobunaga: Would you ask such stupid questions underneath a big-ass sky sword?

girl: Um... No?
Nobunaga: I think I just proved my point.
girl: but...
Nobunaga: Yeah, sky sword.]]> Back to School - Mary, Queen of Scots http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/mary.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/mary.html Mon, 07 Apr 2008 22:54:52 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/04/mary.html">Back to School - Mary, Queen of Scots</a> Mary, Queen of Scots: I can't believe I failed Getting Beheaded 101. boy: Well, it did take two or three chops, ghost Mary Queen of Scots. Mary: Maybe my execution went wrong because I was distracted by your handsome face, stranger. boy: That has to be the single worst pickup line ever uttered. Mary: What's wrong, you got a boyfriend or something? boy: No, it's just that your last three husbands either died young, got murdered, or went insane and then died, in prison. I don't want to be another statistic. boy: Plus you're a friggin' ghost. Mary: C'mon, let me give you a little ghost-lovin'. boy: aw I can never un-hear that. Back to School - Mary, Queen of Scots

Mary, Queen of Scots: I can't believe I failed Getting Beheaded 101.
boy: Well, it did take two or three chops, ghost Mary Queen of Scots.

Mary: Maybe my execution went wrong because I was distracted by your handsome face, stranger.
boy: That has to be the single worst pickup line ever uttered.

Mary: What's wrong, you got a boyfriend or something?
boy: No, it's just that your last three husbands either died young, got murdered, or went insane and then died, in prison. I don't want to be another statistic.

boy: Plus you're a friggin' ghost.
Mary: C'mon, let me give you a little ghost-lovin'.
boy: aw I can never un-hear that.]]> Back to School - St Drogo http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/drogo.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/drogo.html Mon, 31 Mar 2008 02:45:58 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/drogo.html">Back to School - St Drogo</a> Saint Drogo: I can't believe I failed Bilocation 101. boy: I'm not sure I buy that whole story, Saint Drogo. Drogo: No, it's true! I totally know how to exist in two places at the same time. boy: And now you're the patron saint of coffee, and... Drogo: Broken bones, gall stones, hernias, orphans, sheep, and those whom others find repulsive. boy: Christ... Whose dog did you have to run over to get that job? Drogo: The Pope's, actually. Drogo: I tried to blame it on my twin brother, but people thought I was just doing the miracle thing again. Back to School - St Drogo

Saint Drogo: I can't believe I failed Bilocation 101.
boy: I'm not sure I buy that whole story, Saint Drogo.

Drogo: No, it's true! I totally know how to exist in two places at the same time.
boy: And now you're the patron saint of coffee, and...

Drogo: Broken bones, gall stones, hernias, orphans, sheep, and those whom others find repulsive.

boy: Christ... Whose dog did you have to run over to get that job?
Drogo: The Pope's, actually.

Drogo: I tried to blame it on my twin brother, but people thought I was just doing the miracle thing again.]]> Back to School - Abraham Lincoln again http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/lincoln-again.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/lincoln-again.html Tue, 25 Mar 2008 02:57:43 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/lincoln-again.html">Back to School - Abraham Lincoln again</a> Abraham Lincoln: I can't believe I failed American History 101 again. girl: Abe what the heck. Lincoln: I even got the Gettysburg Address question wrong. girl: "Four score and seven years ago"? Lincoln: Yeah, but people misinterpreted that. I wasn't talking about eighty-seven years ago, I meant I'd scored with four hot ladies over the previous seven years. girl: The Gettysburg Address was just you bragging? Lincoln: Yeah, history forgets the rest of it, too. Caption: November 19, 1863 Lincoln: All men are created equal... Except me, cause I'm a friggin' sex machine. Lincoln: Seriously people. Back to School - Abraham Lincoln again

Abraham Lincoln: I can't believe I failed American History 101 again.
girl: Abe what the heck.

Lincoln: I even got the Gettysburg Address question wrong.
girl: Four score and seven years ago?

Lincoln: Yeah, but people misinterpreted that. I wasn't talking about eighty-seven years ago, I meant I'd scored with four hot ladies over the previous seven years.

girl: The Gettysburg Address was just you bragging?
Lincoln: Yeah, history forgets the rest of it, too.

Caption: November 19, 1863
Lincoln: All men are created equal... Except me, cause I'm a friggin' sex machine.
Lincoln: Seriously people.]]> Back to School - Neil Armstrong http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/armstrong.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/armstrong.html Tue, 18 Mar 2008 18:57:24 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/armstrong.html">Back to School - Neil Armstrong</a> Neil Armstrong: I can't believe I failed History of Space Exploration. boy: Neil Armstrong! Are - are you in space right now? Armstrong: Zero-gravity is where I feel most at home. boy: Doesn't that mess with your blood flow? I heard it does weird things to you. Armstrong: Yeah, it results in a high blood pressure in the upper body and the brain. Plus, chicken legs. boy: I think I would get pretty tired of floating around after a while. Armstrong: To be honest, my head is so swollen I can't even tell if I'm having a good time. Woo! boy: I guess being the first person on the moon would be something of an ego trip. Armstrong: What? Oh, no, that was a hoax. Armstrong: Woo! Back to School - Neil Armstrong

Neil Armstrong: I can't believe I failed History of Space Exploration.
boy: Neil Armstrong! Are are you in space right now?

Armstrong: Zero-gravity is where I feel most at home.
boy: Doesn't that mess with your blood flow? I heard it does weird things to you.

Armstrong: Yeah, it results in a high blood pressure in the upper body and the brain. Plus, chicken legs.
boy: I think I would get pretty tired of floating around after a while.

Armstrong: To be honest, my head is so swollen I can't even tell if I'm having a good time. Woo!

boy: I guess being the first person on the moon would be something of an ego trip.
Armstrong: What? Oh, no, that was a hoax.
Armstrong: Woo!]]> Back to School - Joseph Stalin http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/stalin.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/stalin.html Tue, 11 Mar 2008 00:35:31 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/stalin.html">Back to School - Joseph Stalin</a> Stalin: I can't believe I failed Stalinism. girl: You took a course about yourself, Stalin? Stalin: YOU DARE ADDRESS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL STALIN DIRECTLY? girl: Oh god, here we go again. Stalin: BOW BEFORE THE WRATH OF MY UNBELIEVABLE SUPER POWERS girl: We already discussed this. You do not have super powers. Stalin: LASER EYES PEEEEOOOWW girl: Nope. No laser eyes, no thunder fists, no lightning bolts... Stalin: FIRE BREATH HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH girl: Oh, jesus, your breath... girl: Did you eat beets today? Back to School - Joseph Stalin

Stalin: I can't believe I failed Stalinism.
girl: You took a course about yourself, Stalin?

Stalin: YOU DARE ADDRESS THE GREAT AND POWERFUL STALIN DIRECTLY?
girl: Oh god, here we go again.

Stalin: BOW BEFORE THE WRATH OF MY UNBELIEVABLE SUPER POWERS
girl: We already discussed this. You do not have super powers.

Stalin: LASER EYES PEEEEOOOWW
girl: Nope. No laser eyes, no thunder fists, no lightning bolts...

Stalin: FIRE BREATH HHHHHHHHAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
girl: Oh, jesus, your breath...
girl: Did you eat beets today?]]> Back to School - Eleanor Roosevelt http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/roosevelt.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/roosevelt.html Mon, 03 Mar 2008 02:48:01 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/03/roosevelt.html">Back to School - Eleanor Roosevelt</a> Eleanor Roosevelt: I can't believe I failed Introduction to Human Rights. boy: You should've aced that one, Eleanor Roosevelt. Roosevelt: I've repressed a lot of those memories. Do you realize we actually felt it necessary to write that people had a right to be recognized as people? We had to write that on a piece of paper to remind other humans. Roosevelt: And years later, almost every one of those articles is still violated on a regular basis. boy: Hell, even God didn't have much success with a command as straightforward as "Don't kill people." Roosevelt: Hope gets so tiring. After a while it's like, as long as I have the right to a bit of sherry on Saturday evenings, I'm happy. boy: Or, you know, the right to drink a bunch of two-dollar tequila shots and get arrested trying to break into a parked police car. Roosevelt: We should have added the right not to have to hear about things that ONLY HAPPENED ONE TIME Back to School - Eleanor Roosevelt

Eleanor Roosevelt: I can't believe I failed Introduction to Human Rights.
boy: You should've aced that one, Eleanor Roosevelt.

Roosevelt: I've repressed a lot of those memories. Do you realize we actually felt it necessary to write that people had a right to be recognized as people? We had to write that on a piece of paper to remind other humans.

Roosevelt: And years later, almost every one of those articles is still violated on a regular basis.
boy: Hell, even God didn't have much success with a command as straightforward as Don't kill people.

Roosevelt: Hope gets so tiring. After a while it's like, as long as I have the right to a bit of sherry on Saturday evenings, I'm happy.

boy: Or, you know, the right to drink a bunch of two-dollar tequila shots and get arrested trying to break into a parked police car.
Roosevelt: We should have added the right not to have to hear about things that ONLY HAPPENED ONE TIME]]> Back to School - Gottfried Leibniz http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/02/leibniz.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/02/leibniz.html Sun, 24 Feb 2008 23:57:43 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/02/leibniz.html">Back to School - Gottfried Leibniz</a> Leibniz: I can't believe I failed Knowing Everything 101. girl: Hey, weren't you in that band Whitesnake? Leibniz: Madame, I am the great Gottfried Leibniz. I have made important contributions to almost every field of knowledge! girl: Oh my god! I think the dead animal on your head just moved. Leibniz: But... but surely you are aware that I invented calculus? girl: Ooh... you're that Leibniz. Sorry, I didn't recognize you underneath that mountain of stupid-looking hair. Leibniz: *sniff*... They mocked my dress at the court of King George I, as well. girl: Aw, hey. Don't cry! You discovered binary, didn't you? Leibniz: ... yeah. girl: Who's my little binary discoverer? Leibniz: *sniff*... me. girl: Yeah. There you go. girl: Seriously though, lose the fucking wig. Back to School - Gottfried Leibniz

Leibniz: I can't believe I failed Knowing Everything 101.
girl: Hey, weren't you in that band Whitesnake?

Leibniz: Madame, I am the great Gottfried Leibniz. I have made important contributions to almost every field of knowledge!
girl: Oh my god! I think the dead animal on your head just moved.

Leibniz: But... but surely you are aware that I invented calculus?
girl: Ooh... you're that Leibniz. Sorry, I didn't recognize you underneath that mountain of stupid-looking hair.

Leibniz: *sniff*... They mocked my dress at the court of King George I, as well.
girl: Aw, hey. Don't cry! You discovered binary, didn't you?
Leibniz: ... yeah.
girl: Who's my little binary discoverer?
Leibniz: *sniff*... me.

girl: Yeah. There you go.
girl: Seriously though, lose the fucking wig.]]> Back to School - Sappho http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/02/sappho.html http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/02/sappho.html Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:24:08 -0000 <a href="http://btscomic.blogspot.com/2008/02/sappho.html">Back to School - Sappho</a> Sappho: I can't believe I failed Seventh Century BC Greek Poetry. boy: Hey Sappho. What's up? Sappho: I'm just bummed about this mark. I really thought this course would be up my alley. boy: Not enough lesbos for you? Sappho: Uh, the island of my birth is pronounced 'lezz-boss'. And if anything, there was too much talk of my sexuality. I want to be a great poet, not a famous lesbian poet. boy: Unfortunately, not much of your writing has survived. Sappho: I know... I can't believe I lost that poem about the hot chick from the mountain temple. Sappho: God she was hot. Sappho: Actually, that was about the gist of it. Back to School - Sappho

Sappho: I can't believe I failed Seventh Century BC Greek Poetry.
boy: Hey Sappho. What's up?

Sappho: I'm just bummed about this mark. I really thought this course would be up my alley.
boy: Not enough lesbos for you?

Sappho: Uh, the island of my birth is pronounced 'lezz-boss'. And if anything, there was too much talk of my sexuality. I want to be a great poet, not a famous lesbian poet.

boy: Unfortunately, not much of your writing has survived.
Sappho: I know... I can't believe I lost that poem about the hot chick from the mountain temple.

Sappho: God she was hot.
Sappho: Actually, that was about the gist of it.]]>