http://nukees.com The latest transcribed Nukees comics, powered by OhNoRobot.com en-us http://www.nukees.com/pics/nukeestitle.gif http://nukees.com Fri, 25 Jan 2008 06:23:40 -0000 http://nukees.com/d/20001004.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20001004.html">Nukees - Wednesday, October 4, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> Shea: Two years ago you wouldn't stop calling me! You showed up at my classes, even... That's called stalking! <br/> Gav: Saving a love of purest truth is NOT stalking! <br/> <br/> [[Yvette listening through door]] <br/> Shea: It's over! I don't want to argue this anymore! <br/> Gav: You never did! You said you loved me but didn't want to see me anymore! I should walk away from that?! <br/> <br/> Shea: Yes! <br/> Gav: No! You NEVER knew true love! It's people like you who waste that word until it means nothing! <br/> <br/> Shea: [[thinking]] The obvious tennis joke would probably be inappropriate at this point... <br/> Gav: WORDKILLER! http://nukees.com/d/20001002.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20001002.html">Nukees - Monday, October 2, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> Shea: Look Gav, we BROKE UP. Case closed. We SOLVED this years ago! <br/> <br/> [[Memory, in silhouette]] <br/> Shea: It's too hard being away from you so I can't see you anymore. <br/> <br/> [[Memory continued, Gav talking on phone]] <br/> Shea: Your constant complaining about life is depressing. <br/> Gav: I can stop! <br/> Shea: No, actually it's what actracted [sic] me to you in the first place. <br/> Gav: Uh... <br/> <br/> [[Memory continued, conversation in person]] <br/> Shea: You care too much about me. I can't handle that kind of responsibility. Now go... <br/> <br/> [[Present time]] <br/> Gav: Ah yes, that would be the ROYAL definition of "WE" and the QUANTUM MECHANICAL definition of "SOLVED." <br/> Shea: Is that supposed to make sense? <br/> Gav: Exactly. http://nukees.com/d/20000929.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000929.html">Nukees - Friday, September 29, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> [[In a courtroom]] <br/> Judge: Um... I'm calling a ten minute recess. I think you all know why. <br/> Yvette: Listen, sugar, I've seen his security file. You be careful... <br/> <br/> [[Gav pulls off his tie]] <br/> Shea: What are you doing Gav? Patent abuse? Lawsuits? Countersuits? <br/> Gav: Shea, it killed me when you left. It was like losing part of myself. <br/> <br/> Gav: [[crying]] Part of me DIED without you shea, and if something in the world as perfect as you and me can die, how can I believe in or respect anything else on the stinking planet? Or anyone? <br/> <br/> Shea: It's not your MORALITY I question, its the EFFORT. You used to be too LAZY to take anything this far. <br/> Gav: *snf* See how well you know me? http://nukees.com/d/20000927.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000927.html">Nukees - Wednesday, September 27, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> [[Shea and Yvette sit over Gav]] <br/> Shea: Wait, I think his eyes are opening... <br/> Yvette: How on earth could you tell? <br/> Shea: Look, I don't think I should be here when he wakes up... <br/> <br/> [[Gav sits up]] <br/> Gav: Oh, that's JUST like you, Shea! Running away from me AGAIN! <br/> Shea: Gav! <br/> <br/> Shea: I shouldn't need to run from you, Gav! <br/> Gav: Because you're still in love with me and we should be together again always?! <br/> <br/> Shea: No, because of the restraining order! <br/> Gav: Oh THAT...So, NOT the other thing? http://nukees.com/d/20000925.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000925.html">Nukees - Monday, September 25, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> Yvette: Is he okay? <br/> Shea: Not really, but our past relationship isn't really important right now... <br/> Yvette: You went OUT with this? <br/> <br/> Shea: You could say that. He was disturbingly obsessed with me. <br/> Yvette: Hey I recognize this nose. <br/> Shea: Who could forget it? <br/> <br/> Yvette: I think I used to work with it back at the Defense Department. He's kind of a whack-job isn't he? <br/> Shea: Why do you think I broke up with him? <br/> <br/> Gav: MAN, I wish I were actually unconscious. <br/> Yvette: You mean BESIDES his obvious physical deformities? http://nukees.com/d/20000922.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000922.html">Nukees - Friday, September 22, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> [[In a courtroom, King Luca in the witness stand, Suzy Gee and Barbie standing]] <br/> Suzy Gee: Leave me alone! I'm not on trial here! <br/> <br/> [[Suzy Gee "magically" appears in the witness stand]] <br/> Barbie: Actually, you ARE. <br/> Suzy Gee: Ahhh! <br/> <br/> Suzy Gee: And if I'm convicted? <br/> Judge: A shunning!! <br/> <br/> Suzy Gee: A WHAT?! <br/> Barbie: A shunning! You'll be shunned! See, it--Stop giggling! It's far worse than it sounds!! http://nukees.com/d/20000920.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000920.html">Nukees - Wednesday, September 20, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> Suzy Gee: GO AWAY Barbie! You can't make me feel bad about myself!! You failed last time and... well, you know... etcetera! <br/> Barbie: What makes you think I'm here to do that? <br/> <br/> Barbie: I'm here to argue a case! FIRST WITNESS!! <br/> Suzy Gee: [[surprised]] King Luca? <br/> <br/> Barbie: What would you say, Your Royal Highness, if you learned that Ms. Gee has been abusing an incompetent government service for her superior's personal gain? <br/> King Luca: Good for her! <br/> <br/> Barbie: Not yours! <br/> King Luca: Bad Duchess! No land grants! http://nukees.com/d/20000918.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000918.html">Nukees - Monday, September 18, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> Suzy Gee: B-b-barbie? But y-you were just a dream!! You were just a twisted artichoke-pineapple pizza-induced somnulent [sic] freak-out! <br/> Barbie: Yeah, well, insecurity-spawned delusions have a better union now! <br/> <br/> [[Suzy Gee points threateningly at Barbie]] <br/> Suzy Gee: I HAVE no insecurities anymore! I'm well adjusted now! I'm highly confident in my abilities AND my looks! I even have a boyfriend now! <br/> <br/> Barbie: Ah yes, "KING" Luca. Your pillar of sanity... <br/> Suzy Gee: Ah, BITE ME. How's THAT for confidence? http://nukees.com/d/20000915.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000915.html">Nukees - Friday, September 15, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> [[Inside a courtroom]] <br/> Danny: Legal cases are simply a matter of analyzing facts and applying laws. It is just like scientific research. I do not understand why trials are so inefficient. <br/> <br/> Danny: The reproducibility axiom of scientific method tells us that identical conditions will produce identical judgements. [sic] Lawbot v0.92 has therefore induced logically how this case will end... <br/> [[A print-out is ejected from Lawbot v0.92]] <br/> <<bzzzzz>> <br/> <br/> Judge: This is my courtroom, not your lab. Logic has no place here. <br/> Danny: It says I will be arrested by the F.B.I.? <br/> <br/> [[F.B.I. Agent stands behind Danny]] <br/> Agent: Federal Bureau of Investigations! This man is under arrest! <br/> Judge: I stand corrected. http://nukees.com/d/20000911.html <a href="http://nukees.com/d/20000911.html">Nukees - Monday, September 11, 2000</a><br />"; <br /> Judge: Very well, this matter between Blackout Power and Treehugger Green Power is settled. <br/> <<Gavel, Clunk>> <br/> <br/> Danny: Yay! <br/> Judge: Next on the docket is an image trademark infringement suit by Mechanime Entertainment against the Defendant... <br/> <br/> Judge: ... Blackout Power? <br/> Danny: Uh... Yeah... sh-should we move over there?