SWiZZLESTUCK - latest additions

sock it to me

sock it to me
";
NICK: Can't sleep until...comic is...done. Once you finish it maybe those assholes will finally respect you...you stupid sack of shit.

First Wish

First Wish
";
NICK: I want you to conjure some new friends for me who actually SHARE SOME OF MY INTERESTS, like avoiding sunlight and listening to freeform radio and reading kitschy sci-fi novels and--

WIZARD: Why don't I just make you less of a backward, spiteful social failure?

NICK: FUCK YOU

Der Worm

Der Worm
";
DER HUR HUR HUR

Dennis

Dennis
";
Dennis the Menace...more like Dennis the Little Fucker

cephalopod and son

cephalopod and son
";
CEPHALOPOD: this looks like shit son
SON: I hate you dad

E-Commerce Supernatural Horror

E-Commerce Supernatural Horror
";
DAHLIA: Hey, how did my Netflix queue get all screwed up? I had like 200 movies in here...

*POOF*

DAHLIA: Oh. Guess that was a dream.

DAHLIA: Oh crap, not again...

DAHLIA: Great. 200 meticulously selected films gone, replaced with Woodworker's Jamboree Vols. 1-17, some skateboarding documentaries...My totally awesome psychic powers have taken it upon themselves to queue the entire Special Interest section.

DAHLIA: Oh, waitaminit...Bettie Page in Teaserama...Build Your Own Puppet Colossus...I take it back, psychic powers.

Whosoever Pulls the Sword

Whosoever Pulls the Sword
";
whosoever pulls the Sword from the Stone
is rightwise King
born of England
offer not valid in Michigan and Tennessee

Be My Baby

Be My Baby
";
be my baby
be my baby tonight
oh would you rather we just fuck?
sure I guess that's fine

GOAT: baaa

My Ears Pop

My Ears Pop
";
my ears pop as the sport utility vehicle climbs the hill
the soft leathers seats and digitally mastered piano jazz sizzle my brain
like diced pork in a wok
KATHUNKTHUNK
oh God what did we hit?

Daffy Duck's Alarm Clock

Daffy Duck's Alarm Clock
";
Daffy Duck's alarm clock has been smashed to bits
and magically reassembled by careless animators
countless times