( searching 368 episodes of Mac Hall!)
MalkimIan: This is bad. I'm not prepared for this exam, and my grade is hanging by a thread. I could copy my notes to an index card and probably pass... Good Conscience? Good Conscience: Ian, falsehood rends the very fabric that binds humanity! Don't do it! Ian: Cthulhu? Cthulhu: Bht'k fnngrl yachrn R'ylyeh HRUNNG'JAH t'frog pdanscha, fomdragh hun daiyonths chundv-hyher toinghar! Ian: Well, that's an idea, but I don't even know where the sunken city of R'lyeh is, much less how to awaken the old gods slumbering within. Cthulhu: Bah. Good Conscience: Ian, just don't cheat, ok? Please?http://machall.com/view.php?date=2002-12-27
Malkim
Mr. RiversMatt: Excuse me, professor? I have a question about extra credit. Professor: Sure. Matt: Would I lget any bonus points for losing my will, abandoning my dreams, and sliding into an ugly black dispair for an indefinite length of time? Professor: Noooooooo... Matt: Ok.. I just wanted to ask.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-01-06
Mr. Rivers
Want Ads{{title text: Want Ads}} Micah: Helen, can I have a few strands of your hair? Helen: My hair? I guess so... What for? Micah: We're stunning flies and tying little leashes on them, but none of us have hair that's long enough. Micah: She had to go take a shower all of a sudden. Ian: Weird.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-01-08
Want Ads
under hand{{title text: under hand}} Matt: So, Uh, This was really nice. We should do it again sometime or something... Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah... Girl: Dang it. Is he going to go for the kiss, or isn't he? Matt: Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Girl: I sure as heck can't make the first move, I'm 8 inches shorter than he is. What am i supposed to do here? Matt: ... And that's when she grabbed my crotch. JM: Clever Girl.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-01-18
under hand
Soft Serve[[JM is reading the newspaper, Matt is reading a book]] JM: Lately there's been a lot of stories in the media about how casual sex is "in" among female college students. Matt: Funny. Matt: I'm still not getting any. JM: ... JM: What about that girl who tried to seize your crown jewels last weekend? Matt: Oh, her? Matt: I'm pretty sure she was just joking around. Matt: I don't know, JM. Matt: Why do all the girls only go after jerks? JM: I was just wondering that too.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-01-21
Soft Serve
The Wedding (1)Ian: Attention slackers! My friend Bill is getting married today and he needs people to help with the ceremony. Are you in? Matt: I don't feel like going anywhere. JM: I'll pass. Ian: Come on, you can meet all my friends from home. It'll be fun. JM: Going to an all-day ceremony for someone I don't even know doesn't sound like fun. Why should we? Ian: Look, just move some damn chairs around and you can get all the catered cookies you want. Matt: I do like cookies... JM: I'm hip. Let's ride.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-01-23
The Wedding (1)
The Wedding (2)Ian: JM, this is my friend Anthony. I'm sure I've mentioned him. JM: He's mentioned your driving. Anthony: As well he should. I'm a car NINJA. JM: Hey Ian, I just thought of something. I'm wearing khakis and a t-shirt. Ian: I know. You're always wearing khakis and a t-shirt. JM: I can't go into the wedding like this. Why didn't you tell us to put on nice clothes? Ian: Bill's a big believer in the casual wedding. JM, this is the best man. Best man, JM. Best man: What's up? Hey, can you check and see if I spilled nacho cheese down the back of my pants?http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-01-25
The Wedding (2)
The Wedding (3)Marriage Officiate: And do you, Bill, promise to love and uphold, cherish and protect, et cetera and et cetera... Ian: Psst... take one and pass it on. JM: What's this? Ian: It's a big basket of crosses, isn't it? JM: OK... what's it for? Ian: I don't know. Maybe Bill got them wholesale. JM: You can never go wrong with more crosses I guess. Anthony: Check me out. I'm twelve times as holy as I used to be.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-01-28
The Wedding (3)
The Wedding (4)JM: Pretty good service, I thought. The song of Solomon is actually kind of hot when you listen to it. Matt: I guess so... JM: I hear you've been feeling pretty down lately. Matt: It comes and goes. But being at this wedding made me feel a lot better. JM: Really? Just the socialization in general, or is there something in particular about the wedding? Matt: Open bar. Anthony's been helping me drain it. Anthony: NINJA STAR!http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-02-01
The Wedding (4)
The Wedding (5)Ian: Sure is funny seeing one of your high school friends get married. Ian: Seems like just last year we were all playing D&D together at our parents' houses, and now look at him. Where did the time go? Anthony: BURP Ian: I guess everyone grows up eventually. Anthony: TAKE IT OFF! Ian: Not that you can't put it off as long as possible. Anthony: Not the groom! Not the groom!http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-02-06
The Wedding (5)
The Wedding (6)[[Traffic on the road. We can't see the speakers yet.]] Anthony: Pull the car over. I have to finish my conversion of wine to urine. Matt: Me too. JM: We're fifteen minutes from you house. Hold it in. [[Now we see the four characters through the windshield. Ian and JM are in front, apparently sober, and Matt and Anthony are in back, apparently drunk.]] Anthony: The car ninja holds his urine for no man. I demand you halt immediately. JM: Tough noogies. You two stewed turkery are just going to have to suffer. [[We see the car again from the outside. It is too blurry for us to make out the occupants.]] Anthony: I'm glad I'm wearing forty pounds of nails under my clothes so when my bladder explodes I can take you all out with me. [[Looking through the windshield again.]] Matt: Hee hee hee. Ian: O-kay, I think I see a gas station. JM: I'm on it.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-02-11
The Wedding (6)
Bungie ExtremeIan: Hey, what are you doing out here? Drew: I'm snow-biking. Ian: You are? Drew: I am. Snowbiking guy: AAAUGH! Drew: It's kind of a spectator sport. Ian: Ah... <<Clup-fff!!>>http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-02-15
Bungie Extreme
Life Waste[[JM walking through a hallway, oder wafting around him]] [[Naked football enthusiest/jock running naked]] [[Ian climbing into a hazard suit]] JM: I'm moving out. Ian: Hold that thought, I'm about to hit the showers.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-02-24
Life Waste
Rage[[JM sees Matt writing]] JM: Whatcha doin? Matt: Working on something my therapist recommended. I'm supposed to write a "plan b" to get my life back together. [[JM reads Matt's list]] JM: "Kill all humans" Matt: yeah JM: That doesn't seem like it would accomplish much Matt: That's OK, I have more [[JM reads more of Matt's list]] JM: "Plan C - kill all humans painfully. Plan D - kill all humans on alternate thursdays. Plan E- kill all humans with orbital laser..." [[JM talks to Matt, Matt reads from his list]] JM: Do you have ANYTHING constructive? Matt: "Plan Double-Theta: Compress all humans into bricks, build giant wall."http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-02-26
Rage
Edit Book Plus[[Helen retrieving purse, Micah playing video games]] Helen: Just stopping by for a second, I forgot my purse here last night. Micah: Pfft. Micah: What a typically female thing to do. [[Helen looks astonished]] Helen: EXCUSE me? [[Micah playing video games, face obscured by hair, Helen off-stage]] Micah: Oh, didn't we tell you? Micah: We've started celebrating Misogynist Thursday here. Helen (off-stage): Misogynist Thursday? [[Jon leaning back and stretching, Micah off-stage]] Jon: It's kind of like Casual Friday, but instead of wearing Hawaiian shirts, we hate women. Micah: Nothing against women in particular, we just like making holidays. Micah: You could make up a day for hating men if you wanted. [[Helen in foreground with raised eyebrow, chibi-esque Micah with exasperated look on face, chibi-esque Jon with innocent look on face]] Helen: I might need more than a day. Micah: You know something else about women? Micah: They all have smart mouths. Jon: It's true.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2003-03-10
Edit Book Plus
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