( searching 368 episodes of Mac Hall!)
Water[[Morning at the house. JM is eating cereal when Matt appears. Matt is sleepy and hasn't shaved, unlike usual.]] Matt: I hate not shaving in the morning. JM: What's stopping you? Matt: No water to rinse with. JM: What? Matt: The power is still out. If we use up our water pressure, we won't have any for when we need it. JM: Matt, we're on city water, not a well. We don't lose pressure with power. Matt: I'm gonna go flush the toilet now. JM: It's been you! {{title text: Water}}http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-06-07
Water
ibug[[Ian is sitting back on a bench, listening to "Rolling" by Soul Coughing]] <<buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz>> [[A cicada flys in]] <<buzz-buzz-buzz-buzz>> [[The cicada lands on the bench next to Ian]] Cicada: Hey! Point me to the women, man! [[The cicada stands up on his hind legs and shimmies while he talks]] Cicada: Seventeen years in the ground! You know what that's like? But now is my TIME! I am going to find me a female and GET MY FREAK ON. Cicada: I'm gonna be all like "Ooh yeah baby like that" and she's gonna be all like "Ung yeah, a little to the left" and I'm gonna be all like "Say my NAME, honey" and... [[Suddenly, a black blur appears where the cicada used to be]] <<Caw!>> <<snap>> [[We see the black blur was a bird who ate the cicada. Ian is still on bench, and the bird is flapping away behind him]] <<flap flap>> Ian(thinking): I wonder if anyone actually needs anything moved a little to the left.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-06-11
ibug
Higher Learning[[Ian is at the table, reading a book; Matt sits beside him]] Ian: So I'm paging through this psychology textbook, and I get to the part about how SSRI antidepressants affect the brain. Ian: See this diagram? Matt: Yeah? Ian: And then maybe a hundred pages later, there's a section on the effects of illegal drugs. Matt: It's the same diagram, but with heroin instead of prozac. Ian: What does that tell you? Matt: Either there's a really lazy graphic designer out there or the pharmacist has been cutting my dope. [[Ian's cat shows a speech bubble with a brain in it]]http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-06-14
Higher Learning
HobbiesHelen: Everquest? Micah: Happy birthday! Micah: It has a prepaid card and everything, you just sign on. Helen: Micah, the only game I ever play is Tetris. Helen: What makes you think I like this? Micah: Well, just building common interests and all. Micah: You know... maybe moving towards something more like a relationship and less like using each other for sex. Helen: Pthhththtpt. Who knew you were so old-fashioned?http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-06-21
Hobbies
Pants[[Malakym has walked into a store]] Shopkeeper seems startled. Shopkeeper: ? [[Malakym has leaned on the counter]] Shopkeeper: :) Malakym: (pants)? Shopkeeper: $ [[The shopkeeper hands a pair of pants to Malakym]] [[Malakym strikes a 'victory pose' while wearing the pants]] Malakym: (Pants) (Pants) (Pants) (Happy face w/thumbs up) (crossed out underwear) [[Another player stares at Malakym, who has a crazed look on her face]] Malakym: (Pants) [[Malakym bounces away]] Malakym: (Pants) [[The other player has lifted one finger]] Player: (Pants) [[The shopkeeper sees that Malakym's pants have transformed into a pair of underwear]] Shopkeeper: (Horrified face)http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-06-28
Pants
Old Ass[[Helen, behind her computer, looks around]] Micah: Hey, this isn't Everquest! Micah: This is World of Warcraft! Helen: Yeah, Ian hooked me up. Helen: You wanted me to play. Helen: I'm a' playin'. Micah: The point was to do something together. Micah: Why'd you change my gift? Helen: Besides that it looks like old ass? Micah: Everquest is not old, it's classic ass.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-07-03
Old Ass
Leather Work[[low-level Nigh Elf druid stands in Darnassus, a city in the video game World of Warcraft]] Druid:"Hmm... I'm short leather for crafting" [[lone deer walks by, she looks at him with interest]] [[Druid zaps deer]] <<B-ZZAT!!>> [[out of WoW sequence]] Michah:"You're the worst druid ever" Helen: "It had led a full life. You could see it in its eyes!"http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-07-07
Leather Work
Working hours[[At the newspaper office where Matt works, one of his coworkers, an editor, is answering the phone]] Caller: Hey, you guys have a missing period on page three! Haw haw! Don't you have any PROOFREADERS at your paper? Editor: Yes, you're speaking to one now. In fact, I read over a hundred stories yesterday. Just out of curiosity, how many did you read? [[The editor's facial expression stays the same]] Caller: Hey! Editor: Oh, and let me ask you, did you make any mistakes at your job yesterday? Oh, right, you probably don't HAVE ONE. [[The editor is still on the phone, but looking at something on his computer instead of paying attention]] Caller: Hey, are you there? Speak up! Editor: I'm sorry, I must have accidentally had my finger on the mute button. What were you saying?http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-07-12
Working hours
Connecticon 2004{{A recap of Connecticon 2004 from Matt, Ian, and Jes}} Narrator: You meet the most interesting people at conventions. [[A girl is walking by with a bitten-off piece of paper in her mouth. An arrow shows that it is a Mac Hall business card.]] Narrator: Pete Mayhew, the actor who played Chewbacca, has huge GBA-enveloping hands. [[Pete Mayhew is holding a GBA while Jes, looking tiny in comparison, looks on]] Pete Mayhew: Bloody hell, what do I do now? Jes: You need a mission first. Pete Mayhew: You kids and your toys. Narrator: Seriously, he could crush a small child. Narrator: A trip with Claude Errera of Bungie.org and his son Ben proved that gaming can be international. [[Matt and Ben are sitting in the backseat of a car. Ben is playing on a Game Boy.]] Ben: Dad, when are you going to have another XBox party? Matt: Hey, do you have a link cable? Narrator: And for a Saturday finale, 30 webcomics on one stage. [[In a panel room, a young blonde girl has the microphone while Ian holds up a clipboard with "Your mom" written on it.]] Blonde girl: How did you come up with the idea for your comics' names? [[Voices begin shouting out answers. One is presumably Pete Abrams from "Sluggy Freelance"]] Voice 1: I had a bad experience with a hula hoop and I've been afraid of circles ever since. Voice 2: If I fall over drunk, just cover me with a blanket or something. Pete Abrams: "Sluggy Freelance" was the name of my great-grandmother.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-07-21
Connecticon 2004
Process[Matt is behind his desk at work]] Matt: Ah, the start of a new day at work! Matt: Shall I begin by making calls to suburban parents so they can lie about why they don't want poor kids assigned to their middle school? Matt: ...or would I rather shoot myself in the head? [[Matt is pondering]] Matt: This sounds like an excellent question to procrastinate on.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-07-23
Process
DeadlinesEditor: Matt, lately your heart doesn't seem to be in the job. Matt: Fair enough. Editor: You do good work, but you're missing more and more deadlines. When you miss deadlines, I miss deadlines. And when I miss deadlines, it costs the company money and scary people say bad things to me. Matt: I'm trying, boss, I am. But... I just can't seem to get interested in anything anymore. Editor: Hmm. I might have a solution for that. Editor: After deadline, I beat you like a pinata until stories come out. Interesting enough? Matt: I'll try harder, boss.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-08-03
Deadlines
Alienation[[Computer lab. Professor approaches Ian, working on one of the computers.]] Professor: Ian, I think we have to talk. Ian: OK. Professor: I've been getting comments from my colleagues, and I think I might be the only professor in the school you haven't completely alienated. Ian: Really? [[Ian stops working to talk.]] Professor: One told me you called her a "blithering moron" on the first day of class. Ian: It slipped out when she was talking about the symbolism of Apple's default desktop image. And she doesn't like runes. [[Professor is exasperated, Ian tired.]] Professor: Ian, have you ever thought about being nice to your professors long enough to pass their classes? Ian: Faking respect wears me out.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-08-07
Alienation
OS Girl RequiredProfessor: Also, it might be none of my business, but lately you've been getting more and more... single-minded. Ian: How's that? Professor: You're always in the lab cranking things out. When was the last time you, I don't know, went out and talked to a girl? Ian: Can you run photoshop on girls? Professor: No. Ian: I don't see the attraction. Professor: This is what I'm talking about.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-08-09
OS Girl Required
Controlled Substance[[Matt is standing next to Helen, who is at her laptop.]] Helen: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... [[Matt reaches for the mouse.]] Helen: RRRRRRRRRRRRRR... [[Matt moves his hand back.]] Helen: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr... [[Matt reaches for the mouse again.]] Helen: RRRRRRRRRRRRRR... [[Matt stops his attempts and we see Micah on the other side of Helen.]] Matt: Guess I'll check my email somewhere else then. Micah: I know. It's like trying to take food from a dog. Don't get between a woman and her level 20.http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-08-12
Controlled Substance
Adult Swim[[We see Jon halfway in a pool with his elbows up on the poolside.]] <<Blip bloop>> [[Drew pops up out of the water beside Jon.]] <<GASP! SPLOOSH>> [[Drew holds a beer bottle.]] Drew: It's possible, but you have to hold your nose while you swallow. Lifeguard: OUT!http://machall.com/view.php?date=2004-08-17
Adult Swim
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